10 Tips to be the Woman a man Desires

1. Remember that you’re 100 percent responsible for your own happiness.

2. Don’t be dependent or independent but be interdependent.

3. Be fun.

4. Be a friend.

5. Show your appreciation, do it often. That includes in bed. Know what I mean?

6. Let him off the hook, especially after you’ve made him aware of his infraction and he has apologized.

7. Live in the present moment.

8. Even when you’re upset at him, take responsibility for your actions and feelings.

9. More often than not, choose happiness over being right.

10. Cultivate a Lightness of Being.


www.loveandindulgence.com.au

The iPhone-controlled sex toy you can turn on from anywhere

Written by Jennifer Wright

Running errands doesn’t have to be boring — just ask Amanda Chatel. The 36-year-old writer recently went out to pick up her laundry, visit Duane Reade and grab a drink at a local bar — all while wearing a new vibrator called the We-Vibe 4 Plus. Because it can be controlled remotely by an app, her husband — back at their apartment — turned it on and off as she went about her errands.

“[It] reminded me of my first Brazilian wax. I was overly aware of that part of my body, and felt like I was walking sex. But the difference was that I clearly remember strutting after my first Brazilian, and We-Vibe doesn’t allow for such a swing of my hips,” recalls Chatel. “I felt too much swing would result in it falling out of place, down my pant leg and onto the ground. Then I wouldn’t feel like walking sex anymore, but instead a horrified woman staring at her vibrator on the sidewalk.”

Sex toys are not just for singles — or the bedroom — anymore. The We-Vibe 4 is not the first of its kind — other vibrators, like Oh-MiBod, can be remotely controlled by app as well.

But it claims to be the first hands-free device out there — it can easily fit under clothing — so now, anyone can get those good vibrations going, even when they’re not in the same room as their partner.

To access it, both partners download the free We-Vibe 4 Plus app from the iTunes App Store and register the vibrator. When your partner asks to connect, you can send him or her a link that enables them to control the device. He or she can choose from various vibrations, such as “peak” or “bounce.” The U-shaped toy is just three inches long and costs $210.

 

Although Chatel and her husband bought one only a few weeks ago, the East Village resident says the We-Vibe 4 Plus has already added a certain buzz to her everyday tasks.

“First [we] tried it together in the apartment with the remote control,” she says. “Then, we added the app to the mix and started experimenting with how far away I could go.”

“It’s especially great in long-distance relationships,” says We-Vibe’s global passion ambassador Tristan Weedmark. “If you’re in New York and your partner is in Taiwan, it can boost intimacy.”

Relationship expert Andrea Syrtash agrees. “Dirty talk, video chats and photos can turn on a couple who are trying to stay connected from a distance,” she says. “But the We-Vibe adds another — very physical — dimension.”

Using the app can also allow your significant other to take control — and experience the thrill of doing something naughty in public — without risking being too obvious.

“As we saw with the appetite for ‘Fifty Shades of Grey,’ people are interested in trying new things,” Weedmark says. “Couples [can] bring foreplay into their dinner dates. The female will wear the We-Vibe [at a restaurant], and her partner will control it on the app.”

But if you dare to adopt this approach, choose your timing carefully. “Don’t turn the app on and off when one of you is in a business meeting or a public place where it may be a little uncomfortable — or unprofessional,” cautions Syrtash.

Indeed. “When picking up my laundry, it was turned on and it was slightly audible,” Chatel recalls. “I passed it off as my phone, because I felt I had to say something.”

And, she adds, “Snug undies help.”

Online Dating Over 50: The Rules of The Game

High50's Monica Porter, who dated "dangerously" for a year, shares nine top tips to help protect yourself, including: don't believe anything, be careful who you get into bed with and split the check.

If you're looking for romance through online dating, make skepticism your starting point, says Monica.

The world of online dating should be regarded as a vast pick-up joint. I know because I immersed myself in it for a year (in my late fifties), and believe me, whether I was encountering horny young men or equally horny (if less crude) older men, the ultimate aim was sex.

That doesn't mean you can't find a serious relationship, even real love, online. After all, a lot of today's married couples met on a dating site. But if that is what you are after, you must be extra wary of (pardon the expression) who you "get into bed with."

As a mature adult you'll need to employ all the healthy skepticism you've built up over the decades, because it's easy on the internet for a person to be economical with the truth, or to tell outright lies about who they are and what they're after.

Rule #1 of dating over 50: Don't believe anyone.

So, lesson number one: believe in nothing until it happens, and no one until you know them.

Emotionally, you need to construct a wall around yourself which nobody can penetrate until you believe it to be safe. People will plunder your emotions without compunction if you let them. It is up to you keep them locked up, like jewels.

Some women, in particular, leave themselves emotionally vulnerable by investing too much hope in a particular potential mate, or after physical intimacy with someone.

If you meet someone you fancy, by all means enjoy good, fun sex. But - hard-nosed as it sounds, and I can't pretend it's always easy - take the emotion out of it or you will be hurt over and over again.

If and when a deeper relationship comes along, don't worry, emotion will come flooding back.

Then there is the scamming side of online dating. Most people have heard the woeful tales of vulnerable, lonely women preyed on by men who promise them love before persuading them to stump up big bucks for a bogus medical bill or some other phony hard-luck scenario.

But it works both ways. There are also the glamorous young foreign women (often revealed to be prostitutes) who expertly manipulate an older man's vanity as an easy way into his wallet, or perhaps to gain British nationality.

Rule #2: Don't part with money.

Lesson number two: if it all sounds too wonderful to be true, that's because it's a lie. Whatever you do, don't open your wallet to a stranger, especially the ones whispering sweet nothings into your computer.

And those aren't the only online dating scams.

One middle-aged Indian gent I dined with during my dating escapades told me about the "gorgeous young blonde" of vaguely Eastern European origin who seductively chatted him up online before conning him into returning her call on an expensive "sexual services" number.

He was too embarrassed to hang up and by the time he ended it, half an hour later, he'd added $70 to his phone bill.

The poor mug had never asked himself why a sexy pouting 25-year-old would throw herself at a fifty-something divorcee.

Rule #3: Beware of profile photos.
Mind you, he hadn't been entirely honest himself. His online photo showed a younger, better looking man than the ropey, dentally challenged individual sitting opposite me in the restaurant.

It is common for dating site users to edit themselves in some way. Some purport to be single, while having a hapless spouse at home. These are usually the candidates without a profile photo. Never respond to contact from the 'faceless'.

Rule #4: Don't use sites for older people.
There are thousands of dating sites. It can be overwhelming, and tricky to choose the right one. My first few weeks online were spent in trial and error. To begin with I used a dating site designed for principally for seniors, but I would advise against this.

Think about it. It attracts the sort of people who only feel safe among their own age group. Don't cut yourself off from the young and their culture, as they help to keep you young too.

Bigger, mainstream, all-generations sites tend to be less staid and a bit more funky. Match.com and eHarmony are among the most popular, and allow you to cast a wide net.

You will meet both people who want a proper relationship and those merely in search of fun and games. Other users, irritatingly, don't seem to know what they want; they just like being in the playground.

Remember that like any other business, dating sites want your money, and they have been known to employ tricks to encourage you to sign up, such as using fake profiles of potential partners who "want to contact you".

Rule #5: Try dating apps.
OK, it's not really a rule, but another option is the dating app for your smartphone, which matches you with people in your geographical area, if you have both registered a mutual attraction. I spent a wild week or two on Tinder, meeting younger men. What good fun.

But Tinder isn't for everybody. If you are over 50 and looking for something a bit more, um, traditional, there is a new app for you, called Stitch. It's being trialled at the moment in the US and Australia.

As with Tinder, only people who like the look and sound of each other will be able to make contact. But the site is meant to be as much about finding someone for friendship and companionship, as for romance and rumpy pumpy.

Despite its frequent frustrations and disappointments, I loved my adventurous year of internet dating. I met a staggering array of people, had some good times, and learnt a lot - about myself and others.

My 'dangerous dating' was brought to an abrupt end due to an unexpected turn of events and in any case I was beginning to feel it had run its natural course. And since the book was published, I have been contacted by many men asking to meet me - so I don't feel tempted to do any more internet dating.

However, online dating is a world of opportunity, courtesy of our wondrous modern technology. Delve in. And good luck.

Four more tips for online dating
• Try a few different sites, subscribing for the minimum period on each (usually a month) until you find the right one.

• Don't provide intimate details about yourself until you feel comfortable with the person you are dealing with.

• Never give money to anyone for anything. If you are a woman, at most offer to split the cost of drinks or a meal.

• Be friendly but on your guard. Enter a dating site as you would walk through a slightly sketchy part of town: looking over your shoulder and holding on to your valuables.

www.loveandindulgence.com.au

Know the kind of a flirt you are dealing with

Written by Reeza Noorani

It's official now and there's research to prove it too -men and women can be divided into categories based on the way they flirt! Sure, people do have flirt detectors, but if you come across one, here's how you can tell what kind of a person you're up against. And while there is no `one size fits all' to flirting, there is no harm in knowing what you're dealing with...

THE TRADITIONAL FLIRT
An approach that is common to most guys who aren't that out going, this guy will not flirt outside of a traditional environment.
Almost a conservative, he will be cautious and polite when flirting.
These are not people who will artfully crack you up in the supermarket queue, or randomly initi ate a conversation that takes interesting turns.

They would instead choose to make meaning ful conversation. Actress Ragini Khanna says that such men interest her. "I hate empty talk. For me, conversation and intel lect are right up there.

Also, I can always say if someone is being sincere or not. It's refreshing to meet someone genuine like that."

Women who are tradi tional flirts will almost always expect men to make the first move, and will take a more passive yet assertive role, in flirt ing. Also, if a woman who is a traditional flirt knows you from before, you have a better chance of bagging a date, since she would prefer to sit back and wait to be wooed.

OUTCOME
Traditional flirting could lead to a serious and meaningful relationship if you're ready for it.

THE SINCERE FLIRT
This kind of a guy would want to be introduced to you rather than go out and make first contact. It's mostly the case when introverts try to flirt. The downside of this is that the woman might not always realise that the guy is flirting with her. Says Ragini, "There are so many times when I don't even know the guy is flirting with me.My friends tell me later that they felt he was!" However, Anubhav, who often speaks with women in the course of his work as a breakup counsellor, says these kind of flirts would play a waiting game and rely on strong emotional connections, rather than risk making a move, which might get boring if the woman is not too interested. For instance, the girl you just met might not be interested in knowing about how exactly your last relationship failed or what your gym routine is. Women on the other hand, develop a more intimate connection if they take this approach.So, if there's lots of personal information being disclosed by a woman, you know that she's the sincere kind and that she's interested.

OUTCOME
A healthy relationship could come out of it, only if you both started on the right note and didn't meet on a dating site.

THE PLAYFUL FLIRT
You know the guy who lures you into a conversation so easily that it is often tough to remember just how you got into it, but know that you're having a really good time? Dating expert Ankit Anubhav says these kind of flirts usually have a good success rate. However, women shouldn't look at anything long-term with them. "These guys are more honest in their approach, since their casualness doesn't hide their intent at all."

OUTCOME
Expect a short-term relationship, fun date nights and a lot of casual conversation. But long-term prospects might be tricky .

THE PHYSICAL FLIRT
As the name suggests, there is a lot of physical intimacy with this kind of guy It's a lot of non-verbal communication where .the guy touches your knee of your hand lightly to make a point. While there is a fine line between being physical while flirting, the ones who are good at it can develop a great intimacy , and the ones who aren't so subtle, could easily put a woman off. Women too, are great with physical flirting. So, if you catch her making eye contact more than a couple of times, it's mostly on. Also, gestures like a tilting of the head or laughing when the joke's not funny , are signs that she's physically flirting.

OUTCOME
There is often great intimacy in such relationships, even though they might not last.

www.loveandindulgence.com.au

The Very Best Online Erotica … For Free!

You over the Fifty Shades of Grey yet or just thought it was a bad read?

Well it did hit the spot for its target market, smack bang in the loins!
However some us want either better written literature or more steamy. So here is a list of erotica that is easily accessible for you today and its free found by Kristen Droesch.

Kara’s Porn for Women: No girl-on-girl pics here. One of the few sites targeted to heterosexual women, it has a small collection of stories, primarily involving consensual, one-on-one intercourse and oral sex.

Libida: is all about promoting healthy sexuality, and has a special section devoted just to free erotica. Sweet!

 Erotic Pages of Romance: In the mood for something saucy, romantic and historical? This is the site for you.

After Dark Online : Described as the "source for COOL sexy romance and HOT erotic stories", this is another great place for tales guaranteed to give you a good tingle.

The Erotic Woman: This is the perfect spot for both men and women. Yay for inclusivity!

Nifty: This site caters to lesbians, bisexuals, transgendered people, and even gay men. This ad-free, not-for-profit site doesn't collect your personal information or use "cookies," so browse away discreetly at their wide array of saucy tales. You can even browse by author!

Alt.Sex.Stories Text Repository: From "Damsels in Distress" to "Erotic Mind Control", anything goes at one of the oldest and largest collections of sex stories on the web. It's ad-free, so you won't get 45 browser windows full of porn popping up, but it's also un-moderated, which means anyone can post anything they want. WARNING: Because content is un-moderated and uncensored, some of it is extremely subversive. The faint of heart should browse elsewhere.

Caffieri: This site specializes in "erotic super shorts", perfect for a quick read.

Literotica: Stories on Literotica must be accepted for publication (ie, no self-uploading), and, in addition to 'How to' articles for authors, they have volunteer editors who will read and edit a story before it's submitted. This means the quality of material is (largely) better, and while the design isn't exactly cutting edge, it's easy to navigate.

Best Free Sex Stories: This site has a large collection of stories with a range themes and an intuitive interface, so you can quickly click on what you're looking for, whether it's erotic poetry or anal sex stories.

www.loveandindulgence.com.au

Contraception myths: The withdrawal method, the 'morning after' pill and period sex

Written by Natika H Halil
A story recently hit the headlines of a woman in Colombia using a potato as a method of contraception - which went badly wrong. According to Colombia Reports, she began to feel abdominal pain as roots were growing on the potato after two weeks, and doctors had to remove the object. She reportedly said her mother had advised her to try the contraception method.

At sexual health charity FPA we’ve never come across anyone using vegetables as contraception, but whether this story actually happened or not, we do know that people of all ages are relying on myths and misinformation to prevent pregnancy instead of finding a contraceptive method to suit them.

We take a look at some commons myths, and why it's so important to understand the facts:

MYTH: If your partner withdraws before he ejaculates you won’t get pregnant

There’s been a lot in the news recently about the so-called withdrawal method. But having a partner pull out before he comes is NOT a method of contraception and leaves women at risk of pregnancy. This is because it’s still possible for a sexually excited man to release fluid from his penis even without having an orgasm. This is known as pre-ejaculation fluid or pre-cum and, as it has sperm in it, it can lead to pregnancy.

MYTH: The only contraception choices are condoms or the pill

Although these two methods are still the most well know there are actually 15 methods of contraception available in the UK, all free through the NHS. Sadly, there are still only two choices for men (the male condom and sterilisation), although research into both the male pill and male contraceptive injection is ongoing. Women have a choice of 13 methods, including four methods of long-acting reversible contraception (LARC) which they don’t need to remember to take or use every day or every time they have sex.

MYTH: You can’t get pregnant if you do it standing up

We still hear this one a lot. Sperm are very strong swimmers and gravity alone is not going to stop them reaching and trying to fertilise an egg! If you don’t use contraception then it’s possible for a woman to get pregnant whatever position you were having sex in.

MYTH: You can’t get pregnant if you have sex during your period

Many women think that they’re only fertile for a few days each month, and so they believe they can’t get pregnant during their period and throughout most of their menstrual cycle. There are two factors that make this a myth. Firstly, many women have irregular menstrual cycles so it can be very hard to know for sure ovulation (when an egg is released) has taken place. Secondly, sperm can actually live in the body for up to 7 days so they can be hanging around ready and waiting to fertilise an egg.

MYTH: You can’t get pregnant if it’s the first time you have sex

This persistent myth is still out there and leading to unplanned pregnancies. If egg meets sperm then it’s possible to get pregnant, whether it’s the first, tenth or thousandth time you’ve had sex.

MYTH: Two condoms are safer than one

Although you might think that an extra layer will offer you extra protection, this isn’t true, and using two condoms actually increases the risk of them splitting or breaking. A male condom used correctly is 98% effective at preventing pregnancy and a female condoms used correctly is 95% effective.

MYTH: You can’t get pregnant if you go to the loo or douche straight after sex

Going to the loo or douching (washing the inner and outer female genitals) won’t help to prevent a pregnancy. Again, this is down to sperm being fantastic swimmers. By the time a woman has got to the loo, or started to have a wash, the sperm are already well on their way and this isn’t going to stop them.

MYTH: It’s OK to re-use a condom if you haven’t got a new one

This isn’t safe – condoms (both male and female) are designed to be used once only, so don’t attempt to wash them out and use them again.

www.loveandindulgence.com.au

Now lets talk about Tinder and online dating

Written by Mel Macdonald
Now there are many different platforms with online dating from dating agencies, to online matchmaking to apps.

Recently there was an article about a girl who met a man via Tinder and was raped and another that died after falling off a balcony. Its amazing how it has put Tinder in a bad light however, I am here to tell you that after being on many online sites and apps I can honestly say, as a woman, Tinder is the safest method of free dating.

Over the last 12 months I have perused my fair share of dating sites and apps. Each and everyone of them has a slight difference, whether that be the 500 questions of eHarmony to determine your best suitor, to the apps that ask you nothing at all like Tinder. But my last 12hrs on dating app called SKOUT has taken the cake for complication, voyeurism and just plain ridiculousness!

I really felt like I was a pro at these sites. I now had the skills to know how to determine fake profiles, widdle out the creeps and determine who was really interested in just a hook-up or wanting a little more, till yesterday.

I mean lets be honest, dating sites really are nicknamed hook-up sites, but SKOUT takes online connections to a whole new level. I downloaded the app and finally worked out how to upload some images after scratching my head a little. This app is quite diverse in comparison to the simplicity of Tinder where all you do is swipe left or right.

This app allows you to peruse people’s profiles but has a ‘point system’ to access additional pictures that people have loaded above the initial five images. You can ‘buzz’, ‘favourite’, or send a ‘wink’. The Buzz is feed that looks like your Facebook homepage where people basically chat or upload images.

Gaining points allows you to view those that either ‘favourite’ or viewed your profile, access extra pictures in the background of people’s profiles, or send a wink bomb or ‘gift’ (which are a bunch of icons which seem stupid if you have emoji on your phone). Continual advertisements are played and by watching these you can gain these points.

It took me hours to get around the complicated app to work out just how to change the vicinity of my search for a suitor as I got messages from other countries which they call ‘Skout travel’.

While doing this I received nearly 200 hits with ‘winks’ and messages clogging up my phone. Quite frankly my phone was buzzing so much with messages I could have used it as my own personal vibrator!

I chose a few people to chat to and see what kind of guys were on here and holy cow did I get a run for my money. One dark skinned guy in particular who was extremely attractive started off the conversation and within a few questions we determined he was looking for a ‘f*ck buddy’ and that I was looking for someone who ‘didn’t want to marry me and have my babies’.

I queried why he only had 1 image on his profile and was promptly sent 3 really nice above board images then we exchanged a few more. He looked at mine and could see that a few were professional so he asked for a selfie to prove I was real. Ok then. Then it was the typical “do you live alone?” where I said “yes” but I don’t allow men over.

Next came the famous d*ck shot! He asked to hook up at mine. When I asked what was wrong with his place he said he had a flatmate and asked if I wanted a 3 some! My sarcasm escaped quoting “cant you do the job properly yourself”.

Now here is where it got interesting. Next came a picture of his flatmate then a picture of his c*ck! Woah!! Who is this guy? This is going pear shaped real fast!

What happens next is a first for me.  

A few hours later I had woken up as I was feeling ill and decided to peruse the long list of messages when he came online again trying to hook-up. Its 2am now and I explained I was not feeling well and in no mood for sex when the continued rejection from me prompted him to show me how he is sharing my images with his mates who are messaging me (including his flatmate) and that these boys like to share girls.

This silently disgusted me so I thought two can play this game and I told him my gay mate had a good ‘pull’ over their c*ck shots. That was it! These guys were convinced I was a Gay Guy hiding behind a Woman’s Profile! Wow!! So before I know it his flatmate has plastered on the ‘buzz feed’ that I am a Gay Fake Profile.

Now I know a lot of people bag the app Tinder but listen up ladies to why after one year of research on online sites hands down its my preferred dating app. It is private!

It the only site where you

·      Cannot be messaged until you both agree you like each other.

·      You never have to worry about creepy messages or creepy pictures being sent before you agree to chat.

·      You don’t have to put any information on your profile whatsoever. I

·      If you come across someone who is aggressive or crude you can block him or her immediately without having to report them and wait.

Tinder is the only dating site I have come across that is Private Private Private.

There is no buzz feeds to have rumours or images spread or your reputation ruined to an entire site.

Luckily for me I have thick skin and any images I send I have no issue who sees them or I wouldn’t send them. So boys, all I can say is thanks for the eye opener and enjoy the images for your spank bank, as not all women want to be part of a porn movie scenario. Especially the ones you rudely call…MILF’s.