The STI Blame Game

By Melina Macdonald

Did you know that there is a higher chance of catching a sexually transmitted disease (STI) via Oral Sex then through good old-fashioned normal penetration sex?

If you are saying NO, which is typically over 80% you, I suggest you invest the next 7-minutes of your life getting a fast education about how to have safe oral and penetration sex (even those of you in a monogamous relationship), how to experience your fantasies of threesomes safely and understand that this should not be a scary topic! Lets also discover WHY figures are showing an annual increase in STI’s and that NONE OF US is out of harms way of catching one.

Modern technology has changed the face of our sexual relationships with some people utilising online platforms like Tinder and Scout to find a quick hook-up, use Ashley Madison to have an extra marital affair, or Redhotpie and Adult Matchmaker to satisfy sexual curiosities or find that perfect playmate for a night. The typical ‘monogamous’ or ‘no sex before marriage’ relationship has evolved just like how our family trees have evolved over time.

So when we look at all the different kinds of relationships we have today you would think that safe sex with condom usage would have increased over time for protection. Wrong! The Australian Bureau of Statistics reports show STI’s such as Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea and HPV are annually on the steady increase.

Australian condom manufacturer Big Richard stated that research showed 53% of 16-24 year olds use protection and condom usage declines as people grow older. Now do remember that condom usage should be for STI protection not necessarily for pregnancy contraception. So lets look at why this is happening by discussing a simple sexual scenario.

Scenario

Man meets woman. Woman gets her regular Pap smear and STI check-up and discovers she has a STI. Woman decides to advise sexual partner/s and suggest they get an STI test as to make sure they don’t pass this STI back and forth to each other.

Reactions options to STI conversation:

-       Obtain medication from doctor and move on.

-       Both start finger pointing accusing the other of cheating.

-       Treat the other like they are ‘unclean’.

-       Relationship instantly goes bust.

Reality is:

-       No-one honestly knows who did what or who had what or who spread it

-       Finger pointing isn’t solving anything

-       Treating or viewing someone as ‘dirty’ & ‘unclean’ is ridiculous

-       Most people have zero idea about STI’s as they prefer to have their heads in the sand about this topic

-       There is too much stigma around STI’s so it is not openly discussed

Its time to now have a frank conversation about why people just like you, yes you, do NOT use protection like condoms or oral dams in all their sexual encounters:

People look at someone and assume that they are:

-           Using protection or their other sexual partner’s are using protection

-           Honest & upstanding

and my favourite…

-           ‘Clean’

or

-       They are on the pill and believe this is enough protection (The pill is not a protection from an STI only pregnancy)

-       There is just no conversation or permission asking at all before he plays ‘bareback’ and just pokes it in!

Then we have the WHY he doesn’t want to wear one ‘bareback’ excuses:

- I can’t wait. Your sooo sexy and turn me. Lets just do it.

- I can’t cum with a condom on

- I can’t feel anything with a condom on

- I’m allergic to latex (this one can be genuine but there are non-latex condoms on the market)

- It will feel soo much better without one

- Don’t you trust me?

- I don’t have any on me

-  Ruins the mood

- Aren’t you on the pill?

FACT about STI’s:

-       Men are generally carriers

-       There are commonly NO symptoms. In fact most people that have STI’s are completely unaware

-       Some STI’s can lay dormant for months and years

-       People are uneducated or naive about sexual education

-       Some STI’s can cause irreplaceable damage such as chlamydia when undetected

-       They can be spread via sex toys that are not cleaned properly

-       Going from anal to vaginal sex spreads STI’s

-       You are not ‘unclean’ or ‘dirty’ because you have had one

-       Over 80% of sexually active people will experience one in their lifetime!

-       There is a higher chance of contracting a STI’s via oral sex. STI’s can be transmitted even when using a condom if you practice oral, anal or mouth to anal sex

There are 3 main STI risks in unprotected Oral Sex:

-       HPV (herpes simplex) 50-80% of adults have herpes virus 1 (also known as cold sores HSV-1) with more then half of the new genital herpes are being contracted this way. It is contracted through skin-to-skin contact NOT via bodily fluids and oral HPV affects 1 in 15 Americans as per studies done by The Center for Sexual Pleasure & Health (The CSPH). It is the leading cause of oral and throat cancer more so then tobacco!

-       Gonorrhoea & Chlamydia are the most commonly transmitted via bodily fluids but are easily treated with antibiotics.

-       HIV is rare but can also be transmitted this way

-       Hepatitis and other bacterial infections can also be transmitted during mouth to anal play.

It is important to understand that most of these STI’s do NOT show symptoms (asymptomatic) or signs of the infection. Studies by CSPH showed that 82% of adults and 70% of adolescents do not use protective tools during oral sex such as condoms or oral dams.

Whether you are single or a couple all sexually active adults should be tested annually. Unfortunately most people never ask to be tested for oral STI’s as this is not part of the normal tests conducted. Even if you are using condom protection however you have had multiple partners you should always be getting regular STI check-ups every 3-6 months (depending on how frequently you have sex).

How to protect yourself from oral STI’s:

I understand that the idea of giving your man a headjob with a condom or your lady using an oral dam is weird or just plain yucky tasting but today there is some great products on the market that you can use as a flavour over these. They are not only safe to use (as it doesn’t break down the latex component of the condom) but is vegan and not harmful to your body (many flavoured lubricants unless organic are not recommended). 

Check out the NEW Lic-o-liciousOral Delight Cream manufactured by On by Sensuva 

Safety in a Threesome experience:

I want to touch on this topic quickly before I finish as this is a highly sort out sexual fantasy for many and they are not sure how to go about this safely. Recently I had someone who was talking to me about wanting to experience a threesome and hiring an escort was suggested to them. They couldn’t get their head around having an intimate experience with a prostitute. I advised that it is a highly advised option and that other then the escort making sure that this is a positive experience for all involved (this scenario can go pear shaped real fast), that if they are working as an escort or in a brothel they are a safer option in regards to STI’s (as they have monthly check-ups) then picking up some random in a bar.

Conclusion:

This is YOUR vagina or YOUR penis and at NO time should you expect someone else to be responsibility for your sexual health.

The ONLY person responsible for your sexual health is YOU!

So stand up, make a doctors appointment, pee in a jar and from now on remember YOU are the only person who truly knows where your penis or vagina has been so ALWAYS slap on a condom and get regular tests and…

Stop pointing fingers and just grow up people!

www.loveandindulgence.com.au