Fantasising & cheating

Is having a fantasy involving someone else really cheating?
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Myths & Facts about sex and orgasms

10 Myths & Facts about Your Orgasm

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Love & Indulgence Blog: Is Fantasising About Others Cheating?

Love & Indulgence Blog: Is Fantasising About Others Cheating?: Hi Readers, Here is another article and HOT topic. Enjoy! The smoke alarm goes off in my apartment block, b...

10 Myths & Facts about your Orgasm

Every year, the number of studies proving the physical, emotional, physiological and even societal benefits of sex and orgasms just keep on growing. Nowadays it’s no secret that sex is an affective calorie burner or that orgasms can do wonders for your health. But when it comes to more in-depth orgasmic inquiries, it’s easy to get caught up in fictitious facts and figures. 

Realizing this, we’re here to help you better know your ‘O’ by once and for all separating orgasm fact from orgasm fiction with 10 orgasm facts and myths. 

MYTH: Aging reduces your chance of having an orgasm.

Due to built up trust, confidence, comfort and intimacy with a long-term partner, women actually experience better orgasms with age. In a recent survey, 70% of women in their 50s claimed that they had an orgasm the last time they had sex.  In addition, the older you are, the more familiar you will be with your body’s actions, reactions and pleasure points.

FACT: Difficulty reaching orgasm is a common issue.

Don’t be fooled by the media. One-third of women experience difficulty achieving orgasm during sex, and a whopping 80% of women have difficulty reaching orgasm solely through vaginal intercourse. Quite unlike the seemingly 100% success-rate of their male counterparts, women have to experiment and discover the rhythm and pressure combinations that their bodies most pleasurably respond to—a tantalizing trial made mutually mind-blowing with the aid of a couples’ vibrator.

MYTH: Your inability to orgasm is your partner’s problem, not yours.

While of course your partner’s performance plays a role, remember that like any relationship challenge, this, too, comes with shared responsibility. To improve your partner’s O-potential and increase shared pleasure, introduce him to a form-fitting couples’ ring. In addition, try physically, instead of metaphorically, pointing your finger, and become his guide, informing him of the three P’s of pleasure—pressure, pace and place.

MYTH: Experiencing multiple orgasms is extremely rare.

While simultaneous orgasms, experiencing orgasm at the same exact time as your partner, are indeed rare, over half of women can experience multiple orgasms—orgasms that consecutively “roll” into one another, each usually more pleasurable than the next. This feat; however, is mostly achieved by women in their 40s to 60s, due to the fact that they tend to be more relaxed during lovemaking.

FACT: You’re more likely to orgasm with a long-term partner.

While you may think that things with a long-term partner tend to grow icier rather than spicier with time, as far as orgasms go—the opposite is true. Women are less self-conscious, more relaxed and overall more comfortable with someone who knows them inside and out. Studies have shown that, raising your sexual self-esteem is a surefire way to help pave a pleasurable path from you to ‘O.’

MYTH: Condoms make it more difficult for women to achieve orgasm.

While condoms might deprive a man of experiencing maximum sexual pleasure, there is no evidence to support that condoms prevent or extend the time it takes for a woman to orgasm. In fact, condoms provide much-needed lubrication, and the fact that some men last significantly longer while wearing condoms could actually give you those precious extra minutes you need to achieve climax.

FACT: Women can have orgasms without any physical stimulation.

An extragenital orgasm is an orgasm brought upon by no physical contact with the body. These orgasms, although rare, could be brought about by fantasizing or abruptly come about by going about normal daily tasks. But be careful what you wish for: select women are constantly inconvenienced by hundreds of unprompted, spontaneous orgasms every day.

FACT: Eating certain foods can boost your orgasm odds.

While we often associate testosterone with men, it’s actually the hormone which controls sexual desire in women. Foods low in carbohydrates and high in protein:  dairy, eggs, poultry and select meat and fish for example, work to raise free testosterone. Among other libido-boosting foods, small amounts of dark chocolate can trigger releases of dopamine—a monoamine neurotransmitter which allows humans to experience sexual pleasure.

MYTH: You’ll always know an orgasm by its sound.

Not everyone gets all When Harry Met Sally when they reach climax. Of course orgasms can be loud, but every orgasm is different, and their intensity cannot be measured in decibels. While the media has led many to falsely believe that they’ll know a “real orgasm” by its sound, anyone who has experienced a true orgasm knows that the experience can hardly be put into words, let alone sounds.

MYTH: No orgasm means bad sex.

It’s wise not to reduce things as natural and beautiful as sex as a means to an end. In fact, if you look back on your most pleasurable sessions of sensuality, they’re most likely ones that involved a considerable amount of toe-curling, tension-building foreplay—a mini, longer-lasting orgasmic experience in itself. Remember: sex, like life, is a journey, not a destination—meant to be enjoyed every step of the way.

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5 Female Erogenous Zones

So you think you know all the right spots to turn her on? So you consider yourself a pleasure point pro? Just like men have some unlikely erogenous areas, women also have some secret zones that could do with some teasing to make foreplay even more fantastic, or to focus on during a romantic massage when she just wants a tender touch.

Her Mons

It’s an unfamiliar name for many people, but many more are familiar with the area; the mons pubis is the area directly above her vagina where pubic hair grows. A light touch on this area can be very stimulating sexually, as you tease by getting oh so close to her sweet spot while caressing this often-overlooked zone.

Her Scalp

If the brain is a woman’s biggest erogenous zone, is that why a scalp massage feels so good?

Just kidding (probably). Both men’s and women’s scalps are covered with nerve endings that make them very receptive to touch, and stimulating them the right way will flood your system with feel-good hormones like dopamine and serotonin.  Scalp massages are easiest when the recipient’s hair is dry, when you can trace your fingernails lightly over their skin, or during a shared bath when their hair is thoroughly wet and conditioner is applied for some extra viscosity.

Her Lips

Of course some smooching is a great place to start on the road to her arousal, but even kissing can fall into routine territory if it’s all the same kind of kisses throughout the session. Get things started by tracing a fingertip around the outside of her lips before even starting to kiss, and when you do start with the smooches, vary the strength and intensity, alternating between light, deep, short, long – all kinds.

Her Knees

It may sound ticklish, but the right touch on or behind her knees can send her spiraling into arousal, which is all the better for the gentleman administering said touch.

Light touches or kisses around her kneecap are a good starting point, and it not too ticklish, behind her knees as well. If she is too ticklish for a light touch behind her knees, try a firm touch with a knee rub (don’t forget the massage oil!) that will stimulate this sensitive area without leaving her laughing at every touch.

Her Neck & Shoulders

Between laptop cases, purses, baby bags and gym bags, a woman’s shoulders and neck is under a constant strain, and if there’s one thing that’s better than getting home and putting down your bag, it’s a light touch that soothes a sore section. The lightest touch of them all is a kiss, which you can do all along the back of her spine from her hairline to the nape of her neck – throw in some hot breaths and watch her stress (and clothing) melt away in no time!

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Is Fantasising About Others Cheating?

Hi Readers,

Here is another article and HOT topic. Enjoy!

The smoke alarm goes off in my apartment block, but I'm too deep asleep to properly realise what's happening. Suddenly, there's a big bang and I awake to find that my bedroom door has been kicked in, and I notice a dozen of firemen standing in my room with axes in hand.

"Are you ok?" one of them, he seems to be the leader, demands to know.

Self-consciously, I hold my doona tightly to my chest, trying to cover the fact that I am completely naked underneath.

"Yes," I say with a tremor. "What's wrong?"

"A fire alarm went off in the building, but there seems to be no fire," the fireman replies.

I can barely see his features because it's so dark in the room, but I can make out that he — and the rest of the crew — all seem to be quite tall and buff.

"You sure you're alright, ma'm?" he asks once again.

There's something in his voice, a raw, animal sexuality, that awakens something deep inside of me. The presence of so much testosterone present at the same time in my bedroom starts to feel slightly intoxicating, and I feel a familiar, tingling sensation between my legs.

It's as if they can read my mind, because they make no intention of leaving my room. Slowly, to test their reaction, I remove my doona and reveal my naked body to the group of men.

The leader takes a step forward, and silently pulls his pants down. Without a word, he climbs into my bed, bends over me, and enters me with ferocity.

When he's done, in the darkness, one by one I get taken by the rest of the firemen, and my pleasure screams echo into the night....

Whatever your go-to fantasy (and there are as many fantasies as there are women, I think) most of us have one that we return to. The no fail, 'get me off' scenario that seems to tap into something deep, and maybe dark, in our psyche.

Question is: if I am making out with my boyfriend, but imagining that I am being taken by a string of firemen, is that wrong, is it cheating? Should it be something I share with my partner? Do I need to come clean?

Women have been shamed about their sexuality from time immemorial, so fantasies have always been a way for women to own a small part of their arousal. In 1973 author Nancy Friday released the first published compilation of women's sexual fantasies. My Secret Garden: Women's Sexual Fantasies, is a compilation of real women's fantasies, collected by Friday through letters and taped and personal interviews. If you haven't read it, do yourself a favour: just block out a whole weekend to truly enjoy it.

When it was published, it shook the traditional notions of woman's fantasy life and refuted many previously accepted notions of female sexuality. The book revealed that women fantasise (shock horror!), just as men do, and that the content of the fantasies can be as transgressive, or not, as men's.

The delicious thing about fantasies is that they are yours and yours alone, unless you choose to share them (which can be super hot too). I only share some of my sexual fantasies with my boyfriend, the ones I want to share. I love that I can have an internal world that is mine alone and I can choose to invite someone into that world.

But call me hypocritical, but when the shoe is on the other foot, when we are talking about men's fantasies I am more of a prude. If my boyfriend was fantasising about one of our mutual friends, someone I knew, I would hit the roof. Maybe it is about proximity, maybe if the scenario could happen, it crosses the line from fantasy to virtual infidelity.

Whatever the case, I doubt he would be cool with me and my fireman with their big hose, so that one is staying my luscious little secret.

Enjoy Yourself.

 Miss M

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