Contraception myths: The withdrawal method, the 'morning after' pill and period sex

Written by Natika H Halil
A story recently hit the headlines of a woman in Colombia using a potato as a method of contraception - which went badly wrong. According to Colombia Reports, she began to feel abdominal pain as roots were growing on the potato after two weeks, and doctors had to remove the object. She reportedly said her mother had advised her to try the contraception method.

At sexual health charity FPA we’ve never come across anyone using vegetables as contraception, but whether this story actually happened or not, we do know that people of all ages are relying on myths and misinformation to prevent pregnancy instead of finding a contraceptive method to suit them.

We take a look at some commons myths, and why it's so important to understand the facts:

MYTH: If your partner withdraws before he ejaculates you won’t get pregnant

There’s been a lot in the news recently about the so-called withdrawal method. But having a partner pull out before he comes is NOT a method of contraception and leaves women at risk of pregnancy. This is because it’s still possible for a sexually excited man to release fluid from his penis even without having an orgasm. This is known as pre-ejaculation fluid or pre-cum and, as it has sperm in it, it can lead to pregnancy.

MYTH: The only contraception choices are condoms or the pill

Although these two methods are still the most well know there are actually 15 methods of contraception available in the UK, all free through the NHS. Sadly, there are still only two choices for men (the male condom and sterilisation), although research into both the male pill and male contraceptive injection is ongoing. Women have a choice of 13 methods, including four methods of long-acting reversible contraception (LARC) which they don’t need to remember to take or use every day or every time they have sex.

MYTH: You can’t get pregnant if you do it standing up

We still hear this one a lot. Sperm are very strong swimmers and gravity alone is not going to stop them reaching and trying to fertilise an egg! If you don’t use contraception then it’s possible for a woman to get pregnant whatever position you were having sex in.

MYTH: You can’t get pregnant if you have sex during your period

Many women think that they’re only fertile for a few days each month, and so they believe they can’t get pregnant during their period and throughout most of their menstrual cycle. There are two factors that make this a myth. Firstly, many women have irregular menstrual cycles so it can be very hard to know for sure ovulation (when an egg is released) has taken place. Secondly, sperm can actually live in the body for up to 7 days so they can be hanging around ready and waiting to fertilise an egg.

MYTH: You can’t get pregnant if it’s the first time you have sex

This persistent myth is still out there and leading to unplanned pregnancies. If egg meets sperm then it’s possible to get pregnant, whether it’s the first, tenth or thousandth time you’ve had sex.

MYTH: Two condoms are safer than one

Although you might think that an extra layer will offer you extra protection, this isn’t true, and using two condoms actually increases the risk of them splitting or breaking. A male condom used correctly is 98% effective at preventing pregnancy and a female condoms used correctly is 95% effective.

MYTH: You can’t get pregnant if you go to the loo or douche straight after sex

Going to the loo or douching (washing the inner and outer female genitals) won’t help to prevent a pregnancy. Again, this is down to sperm being fantastic swimmers. By the time a woman has got to the loo, or started to have a wash, the sperm are already well on their way and this isn’t going to stop them.

MYTH: It’s OK to re-use a condom if you haven’t got a new one

This isn’t safe – condoms (both male and female) are designed to be used once only, so don’t attempt to wash them out and use them again.

www.loveandindulgence.com.au

HPV: Separating Fact From Fiction

By The Redhead Bedhead, April 14, 2014

Takeaway:This STI is about as common and widespread as it is misunderstood.

Source: 72soul/Dreamstime.co

The first time I ever heard of genital warts was in an article in a women’s magazine in the late '90s. It spoke of a young woman who, after one sexual experience with a cruel partner who told her nothing about the status he obviously new about, developed genital warts and, according to this incredibly helpful and not at all sensationalist (can you hear my sarcasm?) article would now have it FOR LIFE! I got it in my head at that moment that genital warts were one of the worst things that could happen to someone. 

Years later, the medical community has learned so much more about human papillomavirus (HPV) - the cause of genital warts. HPV is the most common sexually transmitted infection. It is passed on through genital contact, most often during vaginal and anal sex. HPV may also be passed on during oral sex and genital-to-genital contact, even when the infected partner has no signs or symptoms. 

Maybe you didn't know that. Maybe there's a lot more you don't know about HPV. Here we'll separate fact from fiction when it comes to this incredibly common STI. 

HPV Fiction: Once you have it you have it for life

FACT: Most people will have HPV at some time in their lives. For a lot of people, it causes no symptoms and goes away on its own. That’s right; it can come and go without your knowledge. How so? Our bodies are smart. In 90 percent of cases, the immune system will clear the virus all on its own. 

HPV Fiction: You’ll know if you have it

FACT: You can have the genital HPV virus and exhibit no symptoms at all. Many people don’t know they are infected when they pass the virus on to a partner. As men function primarily as carriers of the virus and there is no effective test to tell if they have it, they are usually unaware of their status unless they contract a wart-causing strain. 

Plus, HPV can be present in your system for years before manifesting symptoms, so it’s possible to have the virus even if years have passed since sexual contact with an infected person. This is how HPV can come and go without an infected person even knowing about it.

HPV Fiction: HPV = Cancer

FACT: There are more than 100 different strains (or types) of HPV, 40 of which are sexually transmitted. Each type of HPV is identified by an assigned number.

Some types of HPV can cause warts, which most commonly occur on the hands and feet, in the genital area and around the anus, but they can be on any part of the body. The types of HPV that cause warts do not usually cause cell changes that may develop into cancer. We call these "low risk HPVs". The types of HPV that can cause warts include types 6, 11, 42, 43 and 44. 

Some strains of HPV can cause cellular changes called dysplasia, which increases the risk of cancer in the cervix, mouth or throat. We call these "high risk HPVs." Specific high-risk strains include 16, 18, 31, 33 and 45, with types 16 and 18 causing approximately 70 percent of cervical cancers. The other types cause most of the remaining 30 percent of cervical cancers.

HPV Fiction: Condoms will prevent the spread of HPV

FACT: HPV is spread via skin-to-skin contact, so condoms do not protect they way they do with infections spread via bodily fluids (although they help). Additional barriers like gloves and dental dams can provide additional protection. FC2 condoms for women are another option, because they offer a bit more genital coverage than traditional condoms. Also, if you are eligible for them, HPV vaccines can offer protection against certain strains of the virus. 

Fiction: An HPV diagnosis is something to be embarrassed about

FACT: First and foremost, don’t allow any STI diagnosis to make you feel embarrassment or shame. Sex educator Ashley Manta has produced some wonderful videos about dealing with the feelings that come up after the diagnosis of an STD. 

Finally, know that it’s not just you. A friend recently told me about giving her history to a new (and awesomely sex-positive) doctor and saying, "Oh, I forgot to put down that I’ve had HPV!! Is that a problem?" While making his notes, the doctor responded, "No, because really, who hasn't".

HPV is incredibly common. How common? So common that most sexually-active men and women will get at least one type of HPV at some point in their lives. In fact, around 79 million Americans are infected with HPV right now, while 14 million people become newly infected every year. HPV is the most common STI. It’s definitely not just you. 

So that's HPV. In many cases, it's nothing to worry about. And it's never anything to be ashamed about. Practice safer sex, visit your doctor if you have concerns about HPV and, for women, have a regular pap smear if you're sexually active. Oh, and the best way to protect yourself? Learn the facts.

www.loveandindulgence.com.au

11 Things You Don't Know About Pelvic Inflammatory Disease

I really wanted to share this great article on a disease that isn't spoken enough of. Why? I myself experienced PID in my mid 20's due to unsafe sex.

As I did not know I had PID in my system as it does not show much as in symptoms, I found myself unfortunately sterile as a result and unable to bare children. 

So please all read this important blog and lets get more educated on how to stay healthier.

Mel

By Alice Gray, February 7, 2014

Takeaway:PID has painful side effects, yet many of us know almost nothing about it.

Source: Sebastian Kaulitzki/Dreamstime.com

You've probably heard of pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), but what is it exactly? It's a bacterial (or sometimes fungal or parasitical) infection that causes inflammation to the female upper reproductive tract - most commonly the fallopian tubes, ovaries and uterus. It's not a condition that gets mentioned frequently, but the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) estimates that up to 750,000 women are diagnosed with PID every year. And getting it can be a big deal: PID can damage the fallopian tubes and tissues around the uterus and ovaries, causing serious consequences such as infertility, ectopic pregnancy, abscesses and chronic pain in the pelvic area. Plus, because it's often a side effect of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) such as chlamydia and gonorrhea, it can be a sign that you've been infected.

Unfortunately, many women have never heard of PID. Here are a few things worth knowing.

It is most frequently caused by STIs

No one wants to discuss having having an STI, and many people don't even realize they have one. But if you're sexually active, you should get tested because the most common cause of pelvic inflammatory disease is chlamydia, followed by gonorrhea. These two common bacterial STDs often come without symptoms. Fortunately, they, like PID, can be easily treated with a course of antibiotics. (The testing isn't that bad, promise! Read more in Scared of STD Tests? You Shouldn't Be.)

Childbirth, miscarriage, abortion, surgery and an IUD can also cause PID

Anything that touches your cervix has the potential to let in bacteria, parasites and fungal infections, all of which can cause pelvic inflammatory disease.

You may be treated as if you and/or your partner have an STI

If you're diagnosed with PID, you will be treated with antibiotics. Your doctor may also prescribe them to your partner as a precautionary measure. Don't be offended. Untreated STIs are the leading cause of PID, so many doctors feel that it's better to be safe than sorry and treat both partners when possible. Yes, this is awkward when telling said partner. Yes, you should do it anyway. (Communication is a form of protection. 

PID is a common condition

It is estimated that more than 750,000 women in the U.S. have an episode of acute PID each year. Exact numbers for the total number of infections can be difficult to determine as PID has few symptoms, and often goes undiagnosed.

PID is the leading cause of infertility in young women (under 25)

The inflammation caused by PID causes the formation of adhesions (scar tissue) in the fallopian tubes, ovaries and uterus. This scar tissue can eventually block the fallopian tubes, preventing eggs from passing through. It is also a major factor in causing ectopic pregnancies. Getting treated for PID early reduces the likelihood of fertility problems.

PID can lead to chronic pelvic pain

Left untreated, or even treated late, PID can cause chronic pelvic pain. This can manifest as severe pain during intercourse and/or pain in the lower abdomen (which can also be quite severe). 

The pain changes in severity depending on the time of the month

During ovulation, scar tissue becomes easily inflamed, which increases pain during intercourse. If you have PID, you might want to avoid penetration during that particular time of the month, or find positions that don't hurt as much.

No pain does not mean no problem

Depending on the cause of PID, you may have different symptoms. PID caused by chlamydia is normally asymptomatic, which means that many women only discover they have it when they seek treatment for infertility. However, you may find that you have symptoms such as: 

• Higher-than-normal body temperature.
• Fatigue
• Irregular periods
• Lower back pain
• Rectal pain
• Unusual vaginal discharge
• Vomiting

Nobody likes visiting the gynecologist, and with many of the symptoms you might not even think you need to. But irregular periods and unusual vaginal discharge should always be looked into. Lower back pain is a frequent symptom of many gynecological conditions as well.

PID can cause abscesses

An abscess is essentially an infected sore, and in PID, this can occur on the lips at the entrance of the vagina (known as Bartholin's cysts), as well as in the fallopian tubes and ovaries. This is normally treated with antibiotics. If the abscess does not respond to antibiotics, it may require surgery to drain it safely. It is vital that abscesses inside the pelvis be treated or removed as soon as possible, because they are potentially life threatening if they burst.

If you've had it once, you are likely to have it again

Sad but true: Women often experience repeated episodes of PID. The more often you get PID, the more likely you are to get it again in the future. The condition tends to return if the initial infection is not totally cured (which is why it is very important to complete a course of antibiotics), or because a sexual partner has not been tested and treated for STIs (another very important conversation to have). 

Even if your partners are STI-free and you've completed your course of antibiotics, if the first episode of PID has damaged your cervix, it becomes easier for bacteria to move into your reproductive tract, putting you at risk for developing the condition again. Repeated episodes of PID are correlated with an increased risk of infertility.

Using condoms and getting tested for STIs can help prevent PID

PID isn't always caused by STIs, but contracting an STI is the most preventable cause of the disease. Practicing safer sex and eliminating these most common culprits will increase your chances of avoiding PID. Plus, safer sex is sexy sex. And there's nothing sexier than taking good care of the your body and your health.

Anal Sex 101

There are a lot of presuppositions and myths about anal sex: Men want it more. It’s not pleasurable for her. Everyone’s doing it apart from you. There’s no such thing as an anal orgasm. So on and so forth.

These sex myths are demonstrably untrue; all they do is expose the fact that people don’t talk about anal sex well enough, because it’s still relatively taboo in mainstream conversation.

But why should this be? As part of a loving relationship, or even as part of a brief and hot encounter, anal sex has a lot to offer. Not to mention, the relative taboo nature of anal is part of its appeal for many participants.

There are two tricky obstacles to overcome. First, how do you initiate it when you want it and second, how do you make anal sex more pleasurable and enjoyable?

Initiating Anal Sex: Her

When you decide you’re ready to receive anal sex, you need to be in control of it from start to finish. That means you need to make it obvious that you want it, because he might be too uncertain to initiate it without your express permission. The easiest way to tell him you want anal is, well, to tell him you want anal. Many men aren’t so good at picking up dropped hints or reading the subtlety of your body language, so telling him directly and explicitly that you want it is the only failsafe approach.

Note: telling him very explicitly that you want anal while you’re already having sex with him will have the best results. That’s like a golden ticket for most guys.

There are alternative ways to start anal sex, though. Texting or emailing him your desires will let him know your intentions long in advance, but this has two drawbacks: one, you may no longer be in the mood when it comes to it, and two, he might think that’s all you want, so he’ll focus on that and leave the rest of your body wanting.

A sexier approach to telling him you want anal sex is not to tell him, but to show him. Let him watch you play alone, perhaps with a small vibe or even a plug, and put it everywhere you want him. It’ll drive him crazy, and you’ll certainly get what you want, where you want it.

Initiating Anal Sex: Him

Does anal sex hurt? Yes, very often it does, even if it doesn’t hurt for long. But is anal sex pleasurable? Yes, potentially. But you need to approach it… sensitively.

If she hasn’t initiated it or made it obvious that she’s open to anal sex, or if you’re not 100% sure she’s given you the green light, then you need to make sure it’s ok before you try, otherwise it’ll be a while before you can try again.

So exactly as above, there are several options available: tell her directly during sex or foreplay, tell her beforehand via text or email, or show her what you want by paying her butt some extra attention during foreplay and gauging her reaction.

There is a slightly more adventurous way to initiate anal sex, providing you’re having sex already. Find a comfortable position – we suggest a kind of spooning position, with her laying on her side with her back to you, and you behind her. This position is good because it’s comfy, all of her bodyweight is supported and her muscles are relaxed. Then pull out of her and rub yourself against her butt. She’ll quickly acknowledge whether it’s ok or not without having to break the mood.

But remember, there are no shortcuts and nothing beats good, honest bedroom communication – and good dirty talk (the perfect vibe for this) does count as good communication.

Make Anal Sex More Pleasurable

While there are those rare times that, like stars aligning, the mood will strike both of you simultaneously and you’ll have the most incredible and satisfying anal sex imaginable, usually there is some preparation required.

Remember that if you’re receiving anal sex, you need to be in control of it, to whatever degree you want. You will need to control the speed and he will need to listen to you, otherwise it will be uncomfortable and it will stop. The opportunity might be lost until some trust can be rebuilt.

Here are three things to try to help make anal sex better.

• Lube. You probably already know that lube or a high-quality intimate moisturizer is essential for anal sex. The more the better. Apply enough to squeeze a manatee through a letterbox, and then apply more. The more lube involved, the more pleasurable it will be for both of you. It’s as simple as that.

• Condoms. Condoms are great for anal, and not only because they enhance your sexual safety. Condoms actually make anal sex better because their smoothness responds better to lube than skin does. Condoms glide easier, and as a result are more comfortable. What’s more, they can help prevent him climaxing too soon too.
• Anal Sex Toys. Introducing some anal toys like a butt plug or vibrating prostate massager can help ease the transition into anal sex, and by using toys of increasing size during foreplay you’ll find it much easier when his turn comes. Then, try stimulating your clit with a small external vibrator while you’re having sex to double the intensity of the sensations and build up to a really fulfilling orgasm.
To sum up, the most important part of enjoying better anal sex, or any kind of sex for that matter, is talking. The most sensitive erogenous zone is between the ears, stimulate that one and the sex will always be mindblowing.
So how about you? What tips do you have to make anal sex more enjoyable?
Join us this week on Facebook for our series of anal toys for Her and Him


www.loveandindulgence.com.au

10 Myths & Facts about your Orgasm

Every year, the number of studies proving the physical, emotional, physiological and even societal benefits of sex and orgasms just keep on growing. Nowadays it’s no secret that sex is an affective calorie burner or that orgasms can do wonders for your health. But when it comes to more in-depth orgasmic inquiries, it’s easy to get caught up in fictitious facts and figures. 

Realizing this, we’re here to help you better know your ‘O’ by once and for all separating orgasm fact from orgasm fiction with 10 orgasm facts and myths. 

MYTH: Aging reduces your chance of having an orgasm.

Due to built up trust, confidence, comfort and intimacy with a long-term partner, women actually experience better orgasms with age. In a recent survey, 70% of women in their 50s claimed that they had an orgasm the last time they had sex.  In addition, the older you are, the more familiar you will be with your body’s actions, reactions and pleasure points.

FACT: Difficulty reaching orgasm is a common issue.

Don’t be fooled by the media. One-third of women experience difficulty achieving orgasm during sex, and a whopping 80% of women have difficulty reaching orgasm solely through vaginal intercourse. Quite unlike the seemingly 100% success-rate of their male counterparts, women have to experiment and discover the rhythm and pressure combinations that their bodies most pleasurably respond to—a tantalizing trial made mutually mind-blowing with the aid of a couples’ vibrator.

MYTH: Your inability to orgasm is your partner’s problem, not yours.

While of course your partner’s performance plays a role, remember that like any relationship challenge, this, too, comes with shared responsibility. To improve your partner’s O-potential and increase shared pleasure, introduce him to a form-fitting couples’ ring. In addition, try physically, instead of metaphorically, pointing your finger, and become his guide, informing him of the three P’s of pleasure—pressure, pace and place.

MYTH: Experiencing multiple orgasms is extremely rare.

While simultaneous orgasms, experiencing orgasm at the same exact time as your partner, are indeed rare, over half of women can experience multiple orgasms—orgasms that consecutively “roll” into one another, each usually more pleasurable than the next. This feat; however, is mostly achieved by women in their 40s to 60s, due to the fact that they tend to be more relaxed during lovemaking.

FACT: You’re more likely to orgasm with a long-term partner.

While you may think that things with a long-term partner tend to grow icier rather than spicier with time, as far as orgasms go—the opposite is true. Women are less self-conscious, more relaxed and overall more comfortable with someone who knows them inside and out. Studies have shown that, raising your sexual self-esteem is a surefire way to help pave a pleasurable path from you to ‘O.’

MYTH: Condoms make it more difficult for women to achieve orgasm.

While condoms might deprive a man of experiencing maximum sexual pleasure, there is no evidence to support that condoms prevent or extend the time it takes for a woman to orgasm. In fact, condoms provide much-needed lubrication, and the fact that some men last significantly longer while wearing condoms could actually give you those precious extra minutes you need to achieve climax.

FACT: Women can have orgasms without any physical stimulation.

An extragenital orgasm is an orgasm brought upon by no physical contact with the body. These orgasms, although rare, could be brought about by fantasizing or abruptly come about by going about normal daily tasks. But be careful what you wish for: select women are constantly inconvenienced by hundreds of unprompted, spontaneous orgasms every day.

FACT: Eating certain foods can boost your orgasm odds.

While we often associate testosterone with men, it’s actually the hormone which controls sexual desire in women. Foods low in carbohydrates and high in protein:  dairy, eggs, poultry and select meat and fish for example, work to raise free testosterone. Among other libido-boosting foods, small amounts of dark chocolate can trigger releases of dopamine—a monoamine neurotransmitter which allows humans to experience sexual pleasure.

MYTH: You’ll always know an orgasm by its sound.

Not everyone gets all When Harry Met Sally when they reach climax. Of course orgasms can be loud, but every orgasm is different, and their intensity cannot be measured in decibels. While the media has led many to falsely believe that they’ll know a “real orgasm” by its sound, anyone who has experienced a true orgasm knows that the experience can hardly be put into words, let alone sounds.

MYTH: No orgasm means bad sex.

It’s wise not to reduce things as natural and beautiful as sex as a means to an end. In fact, if you look back on your most pleasurable sessions of sensuality, they’re most likely ones that involved a considerable amount of toe-curling, tension-building foreplay—a mini, longer-lasting orgasmic experience in itself. Remember: sex, like life, is a journey, not a destination—meant to be enjoyed every step of the way.

www.loveandindulgence.com.au

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