Contraception myths: The withdrawal method, the 'morning after' pill and period sex

Written by Natika H Halil
A story recently hit the headlines of a woman in Colombia using a potato as a method of contraception - which went badly wrong. According to Colombia Reports, she began to feel abdominal pain as roots were growing on the potato after two weeks, and doctors had to remove the object. She reportedly said her mother had advised her to try the contraception method.

At sexual health charity FPA we’ve never come across anyone using vegetables as contraception, but whether this story actually happened or not, we do know that people of all ages are relying on myths and misinformation to prevent pregnancy instead of finding a contraceptive method to suit them.

We take a look at some commons myths, and why it's so important to understand the facts:

MYTH: If your partner withdraws before he ejaculates you won’t get pregnant

There’s been a lot in the news recently about the so-called withdrawal method. But having a partner pull out before he comes is NOT a method of contraception and leaves women at risk of pregnancy. This is because it’s still possible for a sexually excited man to release fluid from his penis even without having an orgasm. This is known as pre-ejaculation fluid or pre-cum and, as it has sperm in it, it can lead to pregnancy.

MYTH: The only contraception choices are condoms or the pill

Although these two methods are still the most well know there are actually 15 methods of contraception available in the UK, all free through the NHS. Sadly, there are still only two choices for men (the male condom and sterilisation), although research into both the male pill and male contraceptive injection is ongoing. Women have a choice of 13 methods, including four methods of long-acting reversible contraception (LARC) which they don’t need to remember to take or use every day or every time they have sex.

MYTH: You can’t get pregnant if you do it standing up

We still hear this one a lot. Sperm are very strong swimmers and gravity alone is not going to stop them reaching and trying to fertilise an egg! If you don’t use contraception then it’s possible for a woman to get pregnant whatever position you were having sex in.

MYTH: You can’t get pregnant if you have sex during your period

Many women think that they’re only fertile for a few days each month, and so they believe they can’t get pregnant during their period and throughout most of their menstrual cycle. There are two factors that make this a myth. Firstly, many women have irregular menstrual cycles so it can be very hard to know for sure ovulation (when an egg is released) has taken place. Secondly, sperm can actually live in the body for up to 7 days so they can be hanging around ready and waiting to fertilise an egg.

MYTH: You can’t get pregnant if it’s the first time you have sex

This persistent myth is still out there and leading to unplanned pregnancies. If egg meets sperm then it’s possible to get pregnant, whether it’s the first, tenth or thousandth time you’ve had sex.

MYTH: Two condoms are safer than one

Although you might think that an extra layer will offer you extra protection, this isn’t true, and using two condoms actually increases the risk of them splitting or breaking. A male condom used correctly is 98% effective at preventing pregnancy and a female condoms used correctly is 95% effective.

MYTH: You can’t get pregnant if you go to the loo or douche straight after sex

Going to the loo or douching (washing the inner and outer female genitals) won’t help to prevent a pregnancy. Again, this is down to sperm being fantastic swimmers. By the time a woman has got to the loo, or started to have a wash, the sperm are already well on their way and this isn’t going to stop them.

MYTH: It’s OK to re-use a condom if you haven’t got a new one

This isn’t safe – condoms (both male and female) are designed to be used once only, so don’t attempt to wash them out and use them again.

www.loveandindulgence.com.au

How to Choose Your First Sex Toy

You’ve probably read about them in magazines or online. Maybe your friend owns one. Even though you’ve never tried one, you’ve always been intrigued…what would it feel like? How would it work for you? How would it enhance your lovemaking? If you’re ready to answer those questions, here are a few things you might want to consider when choosing your first sex toy;

Before putting down your hard-earned cash, sit down with your partner and do some online research; just browsing through the listings with your partner can be a very stimulating first step in your erotic journey. The internet provides all sorts of user reviews so you can find out detailed, first-hand opinions about the benefits and limitations of each particular product. You’ll be surprised what you learn about each other as you each discover new favorites.

After deciding on the style you want, it’s time to get some hands-on experience. Try heading to a reputable store in your community so you can see things up close and personal. Many shops will have display samples that you can use to get a better understanding of their effects as well as knowledgeable staff who can provide a wealth of information. While you’re examining each product, keep these points of consideration in mind:

Size: Too big? Too small? Remember that size is a personal thing and no matter how popular an item is, it has to be just right for you. Many first time users like to start small, with something like a clitoral massager, as they are less intimidating and offer a nice introduction to the pleasures you can experience. Once you are more familiar with using a toy with your lovemaking, you might want to try something a little more adventurous.

Shape: Try to imagine how the form will feel when you’re using it. Does it have multiple angles and contours to reach different hot-spots?

Power: How strong is it? How loud is it? Does it have all the vibration possibilities you’re looking for? Or is it just a simple on/off? Is it rechargeable? Or will you have to fumble with batteries? (Probably not something you want to be doing in the heat of the moment.)

Materials & Texture: Some people prefer a hard surface while others prefer a softer, squishier texture for their Pleasure Objects. The choice is up to you, but whatever you decide, be sure to choose materials that are 100% safe to be used on (and in) your body. Look for body safe materials that are FDA approved and phthalate-free (like all LELO products). Your body will thank you for it!

After seeing several different products in action, you will be a lot more prepared if you choose to make your next purchase via the Internet. Remember that whether shopping online or in a store, it’s a lot more fun and exciting when you’re doing it with a friend or lover, so don’t be shy about it:

Have fun!

Next article: 6 Unexpected Male Erogenous Zones 

How Winter Affects Your Sex Life

Ah the cold, cosy winter evenings. You know the ones we’re talking about, when all you want to do is wrap yourself in a quilt, relax in front of the fire – and have sex. That’s at least according to a number of U.S. studies regarding seasonal affects on sensuality; winter is when we all start getting a little hot under the collar (of our puffy down jackets).

Did you know that that most common shared birthday is September 16^th? This means that most babies are conceived in December (August is when the least babies are conceived).

That alone doesn’t prove that winter is when we can expect an uptick in our sexual encounters, but despite the increase in conceptions, the holidays also see a jump in the sales of condoms. Twice as many are sold the week before Christmas than the week after, further indicating that many are enjoying a holly jolly holiday indeed!

And ladies, winter is when you can truly feel your sexiest, as a Polish study found that men find women more attractive in winter than in the summer months. Is it the increased coverage of skin that winter clothing provides that gets the imagination going? Either way, it’s the perfect time of year to make the most of a slinky item of sexy lingerie, the sales of which also explode during the winter months.

So what are you going to do with your cold climate sexual upswing? You know that we have a few ideas. The chillier evenings make it a perfect time to spend with a partner getting closer with a sensual massage using massage oils or massage oil candles, and to follow up a prelude like that, share some new sensations with a wearable couples’ vibrator – let it snow, indeed!

Next article: 4 more reasons for a kiss and a cuddle.

5 Orgasm Facts You Need to Know

Ancient Buddhist teachings say that trying to use words to describe life’s most wondrous feelings—peace and enlightenment for example—strips them of their true essence. And while most of us might be a few karma points short of enlightenment, we could all agree that experiencing an orgasm – indeed, one of life’s great pleasures – is truly impossible to put into words.

However, in a quest to experience the inexplicable, there are some questions that only words can answer. Courtesy of LELO, here are the top five most commonly asked questions about orgasms—answered. 

G-Spot. Fact or fiction?

Fact. Named after German gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg after the “zone of erogenous feeling located along the suburethral surface of the anterior vaginal wall,” the G-Spot is the sensitive, bean-shaped pleasure point typically located about two inches up the front of the vaginal wall between the vaginal opening and the urethra.

Due to its tricky location about one centimeter under the vaginal surface, the G-Spot isn't often stimulated through vaginal intercourse alone, but using a G-spot massager has done the trick for millions of women the world over!

Will aging lessen my chances of having an orgasm?

On the contrary. According to research scientists at Indiana University, women actually experience better orgasms with age. As far as the findings go, 61 percent of women ages 18 to 24 report having had an orgasm the last time they had sex, while 65 percent of women in their 30s and 70 percent of women in their 40s and 50s reported the same.

Based on statistics and surveys, experts explain that built up trust, comfort and intimacy with a long-term partner improves sexual confidence. In addition, older women are more sexually experienced, therefore better knowing their body’s actions, reactions and pleasure points.

Why am I the only one not having an orgasm?

Obviously, you’re far from being alone on this one. One-third of women experience difficulty reaching orgasm during sex, and a whopping 80 percent of women have difficulty reaching orgasm solely through vaginal intercourse. Unless you’ve experienced every sensation on every part of your female anatomy (which of course, you haven’t yet), there’s always a chance your sweet spot has yet to be discovered.

Is there a possibility that it’s all in my head?

Self-esteem and feelings of wellbeing can certainly play a part in your ability to fully enjoy sex and experience an orgasm, but if you’re healthy, it’s time to put your mind at ease. It's also worth remembering that frequent orgasms are good for your health!

When it comes to the question of how to raise your sexual self-esteem, it can be as easy as putting on some mood-lifting tunes or even snacking on some sexually stimulating foods, because studies show that as confidence and an overall positive perception of yourself and your body image goes up, so do the odds of having an orgasm.

What can I do to better my chances of orgasm?

How did we know you’d ask that? First of all, go back and take a look at the way you’ve been having sex in the past—positions, foreplay, etc. Next, remember this: women who frequently experience orgasms are most willing to experiment with different techniques, positions, toys and combinations of all three. Finally, start your experimental journey of getting to know your body, and if you have a partner, appoint them as your guide.

While massagers, especially clitoral massagers like NEA, can help you dramatically increase your odds of orgasm, the most important entity in this equation is your own body.

Concluding our ‘O’ Q&A, it helps to know what elements you’re in control of and which you’re not. As we’ve touched upon, a combination of physiological, biological and psychological factors contribute to the potential and potency of your orgasm. If you happen to be getting the max out of your climax: keep up the good work. If you’re still looking to tip the scales of sensual sensation in your favor, simply start by trying something new. In doing so, you’ll soon look back and realize that all that frustration was worth the wait.

Trust us.