Contraception myths: The withdrawal method, the 'morning after' pill and period sex

Written by Natika H Halil
A story recently hit the headlines of a woman in Colombia using a potato as a method of contraception - which went badly wrong. According to Colombia Reports, she began to feel abdominal pain as roots were growing on the potato after two weeks, and doctors had to remove the object. She reportedly said her mother had advised her to try the contraception method.

At sexual health charity FPA we’ve never come across anyone using vegetables as contraception, but whether this story actually happened or not, we do know that people of all ages are relying on myths and misinformation to prevent pregnancy instead of finding a contraceptive method to suit them.

We take a look at some commons myths, and why it's so important to understand the facts:

MYTH: If your partner withdraws before he ejaculates you won’t get pregnant

There’s been a lot in the news recently about the so-called withdrawal method. But having a partner pull out before he comes is NOT a method of contraception and leaves women at risk of pregnancy. This is because it’s still possible for a sexually excited man to release fluid from his penis even without having an orgasm. This is known as pre-ejaculation fluid or pre-cum and, as it has sperm in it, it can lead to pregnancy.

MYTH: The only contraception choices are condoms or the pill

Although these two methods are still the most well know there are actually 15 methods of contraception available in the UK, all free through the NHS. Sadly, there are still only two choices for men (the male condom and sterilisation), although research into both the male pill and male contraceptive injection is ongoing. Women have a choice of 13 methods, including four methods of long-acting reversible contraception (LARC) which they don’t need to remember to take or use every day or every time they have sex.

MYTH: You can’t get pregnant if you do it standing up

We still hear this one a lot. Sperm are very strong swimmers and gravity alone is not going to stop them reaching and trying to fertilise an egg! If you don’t use contraception then it’s possible for a woman to get pregnant whatever position you were having sex in.

MYTH: You can’t get pregnant if you have sex during your period

Many women think that they’re only fertile for a few days each month, and so they believe they can’t get pregnant during their period and throughout most of their menstrual cycle. There are two factors that make this a myth. Firstly, many women have irregular menstrual cycles so it can be very hard to know for sure ovulation (when an egg is released) has taken place. Secondly, sperm can actually live in the body for up to 7 days so they can be hanging around ready and waiting to fertilise an egg.

MYTH: You can’t get pregnant if it’s the first time you have sex

This persistent myth is still out there and leading to unplanned pregnancies. If egg meets sperm then it’s possible to get pregnant, whether it’s the first, tenth or thousandth time you’ve had sex.

MYTH: Two condoms are safer than one

Although you might think that an extra layer will offer you extra protection, this isn’t true, and using two condoms actually increases the risk of them splitting or breaking. A male condom used correctly is 98% effective at preventing pregnancy and a female condoms used correctly is 95% effective.

MYTH: You can’t get pregnant if you go to the loo or douche straight after sex

Going to the loo or douching (washing the inner and outer female genitals) won’t help to prevent a pregnancy. Again, this is down to sperm being fantastic swimmers. By the time a woman has got to the loo, or started to have a wash, the sperm are already well on their way and this isn’t going to stop them.

MYTH: It’s OK to re-use a condom if you haven’t got a new one

This isn’t safe – condoms (both male and female) are designed to be used once only, so don’t attempt to wash them out and use them again.

www.loveandindulgence.com.au

7 Safe, Sizzling Sex Positions for Pregnant Women

By CJ Edwards, July 5, 2013

Takeaway:Get sexy by getting comfortable. These seven hot positions are a great way to get it on with a bun in the oven.

Source: Elitravo

Pregnancy is one of the most hormonal times in a woman's life. You're up, down, happy, sad, and ... horny? Yup, you read that right! Many women experience a nice big spike in their sex drives when they're pregnant. Unfortunately, many women and their partners shy away from sex during pregnancy out of fear, or just because they aren't sure how to work with that big, round belly.

So, what's a girl to do when she's hornier than a Viking's helmet with a bun in the oven? First, she's got to realize that there are a number of myths surrounding sex during pregnancy, many of which aren't true. Let's take a look at a couple of the most common ones.

Having an orgasm during pregnancy can stimulate pre-term labor. 

When a woman has an orgasm, her uterus contracts and a hormone called oxytocin, the hormone responsible for triggering labor contractions, is also released. Because of this, it's no surprise that many people believe that having an orgasm can trigger pre-term labor, or even a miscarriage. Thankfully, this isn't the case in healthy pregnancies. In fact, because of the increased blood flow in the pelvic region you may even experience better orgasms than ever before. Don't pass this up! 

A man's penis can poke the baby's head.

Um, no. While he'd probably like to believe that his monstrous member is large enough to reach all the way into your uterus, this is an anatomical impossibility. First of all, while he may bump into your cervix from time to time, the cervix is anywhere from 2.5 to 4.5 centimeters thick. Baby is also protected on all sides by water and amniotic fluid. 

Sperm can reach the fetus.

During a healthy pregnancy, the cervix is sealed by a mucus plug, so there's no way that ejaculate can enter the uterus. In most cases, this plug stays in place until the pregnancy reaches full term and the early stages of labor begin. Even after you lose the mucus plug, it's still usually considered safe to have sex, since the fetus is still surrounded by the amniotic sac. 

Sex during pregnancy can hurt the mother or the baby. 

Sex during all stages of pregnancy is usually safe and rather enjoyable for most women. In fact, unless your doctor advises against it, there's absolutely no reason why you can't have sex when pregnant. Just don't try to get too tricky; the baby's well protected, but a pregnant body is often less nimble and more susceptible to injury. 

As the baby bump grows, however, traditional sex positions can become somewhat uncomfortable for the mother or even dangerous for the fetus. The top sex positions when pregnant are usually the ones that minimize stress on the woman's abdomen, which can help prevent injury and discomfort. The following sex positions have been considered to be the safest and most comfortable sex positions by expecting mothers and doctors alike. 

Any and All (Gentle) Woman on Top Positions

By positioning themselves on top, women can eliminate any pressure on the baby belly. Not only is this much more comfortable for you, but it's also considered to be a little safer for your baby. As an added bonus, most woman-on-top positions give women more control and easier access to the clitoris. The cowgirl and reverse cowgirl positions are the most common woman-on-top positions, but the rocking horse and yogi positions are also great. 

Spooning

The spooning position requires that both partners lie on their sides, with the man's chest against the woman's back. This way your partner can thrust into you from behind and massage your clitoris with his fingers or a vibrator. Although this position takes the pressure off of your belly, you may want to stash a few pillows under it for extra support. 

Doggy Style

Doggy style is one of the most popular sex positions during pregnancy for a number of reasons. First of all, when in a doggy style position, there's no pressure on your belly. Also, the angle of penetration is better for stimulating the G-spot, and also allows access to the clitoris. However, once your baby belly starts getting bigger, you may find that the weight of your little one hanging down can be a bit much in this position. As an alternative, you can try the leapfrog position, which requires you to support yourself with your forearms on the bed. This will take the weight off your back and enable you to place a few pillows under your belly. 

The Cross

The cross sex position is great for pregnant women and their partners because it requires very little effort. To get into this position, have your man lie on his side. You can then lie on your back perpendicular to him, with your legs draped over his waist. Keep in mind, though, that if you have a very large belly, you shouldn't stay in this position for too long, as it can interfere with the flow of blood and nutrients through placenta.

The Tabletop

If you're looking for a quickie in the kitchen, the tabletop's the sex position for you! This position requires you to sit on a sturdy, waist-high tabletop and for your man to stand in front of you. As he thrusts in and out, you can support yourself by leaning back on your arms or wrapping your arms around his neck. This position can also be adapted so you're sitting on the bed with him kneeling in front of you.

Scissors

Like the cross, the scissors position requires very little effort on the woman's part, so it's a great option if you're dead tired but still want a romp in the hay. This position requires you to lie on your side and lift your top leg. Your man can then straddle your bottom leg and support you top leg on his shoulder as he thrusts into you. Again, you may also want to place some pillows under your belly for support. 

69 Position

Sometimes you may not be able to have sex when pregnant, or you just might not want to. Don't rule out a steamy session with your lover, though. Consider getting into the 69 position, either on the top or the bottom, whichever makes you more comfortable. An orgasm feels just as good - and sometimes even better - when it's a product of oral sex. 

Get Down With Your Pregnant Self

There's not need to cut out sex when you're pregnant. In fact, many women report having some of the best sex of their lives. Chances are you've probably already been banned from a few of life's other great pleasures, such as wine, coffee, some cheeses and even sushi. Isn't it nice to know that sex isn't one of them?

www.loveandindulgence.com.au

Sex & Pregnancy

You’re pregnant, and your partner is giving you the nudge for some action.

It’s not uncommon that sex is going to be furthest thing from your mind as your body is changing in its shape; size and hormones are going through the seesaw of emotions.

But then for others, you just have those niggling fears and questions about whether it’s safe or not or when am I going to be ready again?

So here are some hints and tips about sex & pregnancy:

1. Is it safe for me, and the baby, to have sex during pregnancy?

Yes.

I have heard of many men that think their penis will poke out the baby’s eye! Well for those wondering, that’s physically impossible. The baby is protected in the uterus. In 99% of cases sex during pregnancy is perfectly safe for both mum and the baby.

There are some exceptions that your obgyn will tell you about. These would include those with a weak cervix, unexplained bleeding or people that suffer from placenta previa. Talk to your doctor if you are concerned.

2. When am I going to be ready?

It’s not true that just because your pregnant your libido will tank. For some it’s completely the opposite. Your new curves can make you feel irresistibly sexy and many couples have an active sex life for the entire 9 months!

But here is more of a common reaction of what’s happening to you…

1st trimester-

Fatigue, nausea, hormones on fire and body changes can be a put off. But for others it doesn’t stop that urge to be close to their partner – so it’s really up to you.

2nd & 3rd trimester (also called the ‘Honeymoon Period of Pregnancy’)–

Hormones start to level out and at this time there is an increase in blood flow to your intimate areas and your libido tends to rear its head again and orgasms have been recorded to be more intense and pleasurable! So get your groove on even with a baby on board.

3. Is it safe to use massagers during pregnancy?

Yes.

At all stages of pregnancy, vibrators – both internal and external – are safe to use. However, during this time please take note that body-safety is really important. So take note of the quality of the product you are using and its hygiene.

4. Do I need to consider new positions?

Lessening pressure on your mid-section is recommended. Also you may need to minimize contact with sensitive nipples as your pregnancy advances.

1st & 2nd trimester positions-

• T-square- Lie on your back horizontally on the edge of the bed. He stands the whole time

• Downward facing doggy-style- Think of the yoga position with a similar name but with your knees and ankles horizontal on the mattress allowing your belly to rest on your thighs

3rd trimester positions-

Avoid lying on your back and the traditional missionary style. Lying flat on your back is not recommended as the weight of your uterus can cause a drop in your blood pressure. So try

• Spooning- Where he enters you from behind while you both lie on your sides
• Side T-square- Lie on your side on the edge of the bed for a non-strenuous lovemaking session. He stands the whole time.

* It’s vital now more then ever to communicate more asking ‘how does it feel?’

Bottom line is you’re the one calling the shots. When your ready, you’re ready and you will know it.

Love & Indulgence Tip of the Day is kegels!
This is our recommendation during pregnancy both pre & post and endorsed by our lovely Oprah!

Have you heard of Luna Beads?

These are vibrating balls that exercise your pelvic floor muscles otherwise also known as Kegels.
Strong and healthy kegels will help you prepare for pregnancy and childbirth let alone help you get back to your pre-baby vaginal shape. 1 in 3 women suffer from pelvic floor disorders so if you don’t want to be in one of those ads on incontinence where a women sneezes, coughs or exercises and has the response of an embarrassing little puddle, then concentrate on your kegels from the get go!

The silent benefit however of strong kegels is more intense orgasms. Yes please!

Check out our kegels page

www.loveandindulgence.com.au

Beyond the Bump: Sex During Pregnancy

During pregnancy, sex may be the farthest thing from your mind, or it may be the only thing you’re thinking about. Like the snowflake, every pregnant woman is a unique force of nature, with no 2 the same – and really, you think you can go 9 whole months without some action? Yeah, that’s what we thought. 

While lovemaking during pregnancy is a safe and satisfying pursuit, there are some things worth remembering, and some questions that will no doubt cross your mind;

When am I going to be ready?

This is completely up to you and how you’re feeling. Many women don’t feel like making love during the beginning of their first trimester (generally speaking, a trimester is one of three 13-week periods of your pregnancy) due to fatigue, nausea, and adjusting to the beginning changes of one’s body. Some women will continue having sex all through this period, others just won’t feel up to it – so this one’s on you.

Your second and third trimesters are when your hormonal changes begin to level out, and many women report a return of their wanton ways. Due to the increase in blood flow to your intimate areas, you may even be experiencing more intense and pleasurable orgasms!

For these reasons, the second trimester is referred to by some as the ‘Honeymoon Period of Pregnancy’. We call it ‘Getting Your Groove Back with a Baby on Board’. Yes it’s unwieldy, but we’ll stick with it considering the alternative.

Should I ask my doctor?

Seeing as how your physician will become a near-weekly fixture in your life for the foreseeable future, it won’t hurt to consult with them before getting back to your sensual self. And no need to feel awkward about it – they know you’ve done it at least once already!

Fair enough – but then how?

We’d be remiss not to mention that at every stage of pregnancy, vibrators – both internal and external – are safe to use. It’s during this time that body-safety is of even more importance however, and wouldn’t you just know it; ours are the safest sex toys on the market.

However, there are a few variables that will dictate specifically how you will approach intercourse, position-wise, but the one constant for all women will be lessening pressure on your midsection, and avoiding or just minimizing contact with sensitive nipples as your pregnancy advances.

For the first and second trimesters, you can try something called the T-square, when you lie on your back horizontally on the edge of the bed, and he stays standing the entire time. Otherwise, there is what we like to call Downward-Facing Doggystyle – think the yoga position of similar name, but with your knees and ankles horizontal on the mattress, allowing your belly to rest on your thighs.

By your third trimester, you can try the spooning position, where he enters you from behind while you both lie on your sides, or there’s a variation of the T-square mentioned before where you can relax yourself on your side for a non-strenuous lovemaking session. Now more than ever though, the question ‘how does that feel?’ demands an honest an immediate response.

Anything else I should know?

Just that you’re the one calling the shots. When you’re ready, you’re ready, and you know it.

Oh, and have you heard of Luna Beads? They’re vibrating balls that exercise your pelvic muscles – you may know them as your Kegels. Strong and healthy Kegels will help you prepare for pregnancy and childbirth, and help you get back to your pre-baby vaginal shape and tone. Not least of all, keeping your Kegels in shape will help you achieve easier-to-attain and more intense orgasms. We realize we could have started and ended with that last statement, but we are nothing if not thorough.

NEXT ARTICLE: GIVE GOOD SEXT: OUR BEST SEXTING EXAMPLES