Why Husbands consider Cheating or up for the concept of a Mistress

Women stop having sex with them. Yes, the wives simply refuse to have sex!

I speak to men online all the time and I can tell the married ones and this is the no#1 complaint. It doest matter what the man does.

He tries to romance his wife, helps around the house, baths her in compliments and still...nothing, nada, a desert!

It's not uncommon that this happens after having children. Its like she's angry for now having exactly what she said she wanted...kids and his the one that pays the price of no sex to reproduce again till she's ready to do it all again. I say this as focus groups have shown that its not uncommon for the sex to go dry for a year till 18months on average!

For many woman they struggle with the new shape of their bodies. They don't think they are desirable or sexy anymore. WRONG! He wants you...he needs you...and most of all having sex is the most intimate act two people can do together. Simple intimacy is all he needs.

Quite frankly its unfair to remove the sex and expect him to stay faithful. 

Show some interest in his job and hobbies ladies.

After many conversations with escorts I have had my eyes completely opened on what happens with the hour that men have paid for. Many women look down at prostitution but ladies you have it all wrong. These woman should be thanked (I can hear you saying WTF right now but hang on a sec) as if it wasn't for them your marriage would actually be over!

Why do I say this, well I'll let you in on a little secret on the breakdown of this paid hour. The first 45 minutes is simply TALKING. Yes talking. He just wants to be heard.

The last 15 minutes is spent 80% of the time getting oral sex only.

In my workshops the biggest shock of the day is not touching a vibrator for the first time, its finding out the meaning of oral sex to men. Most women think its all about power. Wrong again! Don't get me wrong, at times this is the case but a blow job is just as personal for a guy as it is for a woman. It represents being needed and wanted.

Now ladies when you first met you had no issues in showing him this but why do you shy away from providing this form of intimacy in a long term relationship?

(Pssst now don;t forget in the past we have talked about how 85% of women need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. Him going down on you is perfect for this pleasure. If your not putting out how can you expect it in return. Fairs fair ladies).

The white picket fence

So you got the man with the status and career, the house, the baby and the money. Tick tick tick

So you got what you wanted so no need to have sex anymore. WRONG! To keep this you need to keep the one thing that he, as a man needs, INTIMACY which = SEX

So if your wanting to keep the fantasy 'happy home' you have dreamt of, either hold up your end of the bargain or understand when your man temporarily strays is all I can say.

www.loveandindulgence.com.au

Why we Cheat?

By Melina Macdonald

This is a question that people in all honesty ask themselves in the silence of their thoughts not out loud. Why? Because in actual fact the truth hurts.

It doesn’t really matter whether you are asking why other people are doing it or why you just did it; the fact is the truth is the most disturbing part of this dilemma and what actually seems to be becoming a more common occurrence in today’s busy society.

The gender is also irrelevant in this topic as quite simply both parties are doing I it as much as each other. Adult sites have been created just to help people do this very thing…cheat.

Both Victoria Milan and Ashley Madison websites, whose target market is married people looking for affairs, have conducted their own surveys to keep in touch with what their customer base wants and what their common traits are. The most amazing statistic to come out of these is that people are having affairs with people that they find to be less attractive then their spouses. Less! The common belief that we tend to ‘upgrade’ to a younger hotter version is also not entirely true with 30% of men and 50% of women having this as an important factor. However what is common is the same thing I believe to be true, the lovers seem to be better listeners and more passionate.

I have written other articles in the past about this very topic…cheating, and discussed the common occurrence that tends to happen in the brothels. The men spend the first 45 minutes just talking. They simply just want to be heard. The last 15 minutes is oral sex 80% of the time and more commonly these days is that the men want to be the one giving it!

So if passion and listening is the main reasons for people cheating then why can’t this be solved at home?

So I say lets look at the findings and pop a simple plan in place to alleviate the stresses.

1.     Take time to listen. Why not go for walks together and during this time both just listen to other person talk with no interruptions and no judgement. Walking is a great way to get fit and either shed those kilos’s to deal with that aesthetic reason too.

2.     Keep the passion alive. Why not surprise your partner by changing it up once in a while. To do this you need to think about a few factors so go look at yourself in the mirror. How do you hold yourself up? What are you wearing? Ditch the sloppy Joes because trust me, your partners lover is not dressing like this! Put effort into how you look and most importantly care about how you look. Note to both sexes: Buy some sexy underwear.

3.     Make time for sex. For those of you saying out loud right now “but I have kids”…shut up! This has to be the single biggest excuse for basically ‘procrastinating’ from having sex again (you know who you are). Yes things have changed in your home environment but we are not talking about a weekend shagging up session. We are talking about a job that can take minutes to (I’m going to suggest) 30 minutes of your schedule. Make chores a joint effort so kids are in bed by 8pm and off you go! Relationships are about making time, making things a priority and nurturing the one factor that brought the two of you together which was intimacy. It is the single most driving force within a relationship and if you think it isn’t then your perception of relationships is severely warped. People with no money, those that are severely overweight and those that have 10 kids still find time to be intimate (the other common arguments on why people break up or cheat). So if you want to keep your relationship healthy MAKE TIME now.

4.     Try something new. Relationships can get boring and monotonous. Starting a new hobby, changing routine every now and again or even roles within a household can stimulate change. This includes date nights and how you romance your partner. It can be a hit and miss but as long as you’re trying its great.

5.     You need to be more then just good friends. Lust is a driving force in a long-term successful relationship. Please note that when I say ‘successful’ I am not meaning how many years you have been together, I am meaning that you are both ‘in love’ with each other not just ‘love’ each other.

6.     Get out of your comfort zone together occasionally. Ditch the kids and go stay at a hotel. Its doesn’t have to be a dirty weekend. Just the element of doing something different is important enough.

My last piece of advice is Piss Off The Fear!

Fear of rejection is the NO#1 factor of relationship breakdowns. Fear to talk about how you feel, what you want, what you need, what your passions are, what your desires are and especially what your sexual fantasies are. This is why people cheat! The fear of approaching there loved one and being looked at as a freak, dirty, pervert etc. is why they turn elsewhere. So throw away the fear of rejection and stop living a lie as this in itself.

www.lveandindulgence.com.au

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12 Special Qualities A Woman Has That Mean You Should Never Let Her Go

I came across this great article by Paul Hudson in Elite Daily and had to share them with you. Why? As they were written soo simply and soo accurately. So for all you Men out there, have a read as your Miss Right may be standing next to you sharing your fries and you were too blind to see...before you learn't those qualities below. Enjoy the read!

Every once in a while – on very rare occasions – we meet the woman of our dreams. It’s always unexpected and almost never at a convenient point in our lives, but she appears nonetheless and changes your life forever.

The dynamics between man and woman have been gradually changing for the past few decades, but the essence of the partnership basically remains the same.

We are designed by nature in a way that allows two such opposites to join and make a whole. Finding your other half is a journey of its own – usually a grueling one at that.

If you are lucky enough to find that woman, that rare sunflower growing on a barren desert, then do right by yourself and hold on to her as tightly as you can – never, ever let her go.

Not all of us were so wise when we met the loves of our lives… and believe me when I say that we’re regretting it. If she has any combination of these 12 qualities then you should never let her go:

1. She’s smarter than you.

Every man needs a smarter woman to help him get through life in one piece. They say that behind every great man is a greater woman – they aren’t lying. Without woman, man is little more than an ego-trip.

Enter a smarter woman into his life and suddenly that ego has a purpose, a direction, and the wisdom not to screw everything up.

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2. She’s beautiful.

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder – as long as you find her to be incredibly beautiful, according to your definition, then she is worth holding on to.

I feel that these days we have those that put too much emphasis on beauty and then those that are rebelling against the concept and giving little to no importance to beauty.

Beauty is something that has been reveled upon since humans had eyes; it’s not something that we should be ashamed of, but rather something we should learn to appreciate properly.

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3. She’s kind and nurturing.

Good people are kind people. If she isn’t kind then she isn’t worthy of taking up a part of your life. Being a woman, being nurturing is very important as well. Some people may not want children.

In some relationships the man may be more nurturing than the woman. Nevertheless, women are born with/develop maternal instincts with age. If you wish to one day start a family then you want to be sure you found a woman who wants to be, and is suited to become, a mother.

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4. She’s vivacious.

Life gets difficult from time to time. It can get boring and monotonous just as well.

Women weren’t created to entertain men – if anything, it’s probably the other way around – but having a woman who is lively, energetic and hungry for adventure will add a dynamic to our life that will only make you happier.

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5. She loves you with all her heart.

This is, by far, the most important quality any woman can have. When a woman loves you she loves you with her entire soul. It’s not the same sort of love that men experience – men always were and always will be more egocentric than women.

Women, on the other hand, have the uncanny ability to devote themselves entirely to the person(s) they love. If you find a woman that truly loves you then you found the greatest gift in the universe.

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6. She’s willing to make compromises.

People are stubborn – both male and female alike. We like things the way that we like them and aren’t especially open to making changes we don’t deem necessary to make. However, relationships require making compromises.

It’s just the way things have to work if you want them to work. Finding a woman who will make compromises is only half the battle, however. You’re going to have to make them just as well.

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7. She feels like home.

Being in love, deeply in love, is like finding your place in the world, your home, for the first time in your life. It’s knowing that you are exactly where you ought to be and that there is nowhere in the world you’d rather be.

If you look into her eyes and see your soul reflected in them, then you’re home. Don’t ever leave.

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8. She is more than happy to tell you when you’re wrong.

Every man – and I mean every man – needs a woman who will call him out on his sh*t. Guys have an uncanny ability to make poor decisions and do stupid things.

Finding a woman who will keep you on track and tell you when you’re wrong can very well make or break your life.

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9. She is strong, but feminine.

All people have a slightly different taste for the women they are attracted to – but they are all a combination of strength and femininity. A strong woman is a partner every man needs.

A feminine woman is… well, a woman. The two aren’t opposites. In fact, they are often one and the same – when found in a woman that knows how to hold her ground and be proud of who she is.

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10. She’s passionate.

A life filled with passion is a life worth living. But living a life of passion alone is basically impossible. Passion exists between two living things – usually, in some way or another, between two individuals.

The beauty of passion is that it’s rather contagious. It’s the world’s most revered pathogen.

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11. She’s driven.

I understand that some men want women to be stay-at-home wives. I also understand that there are plenty of women who want the very same. This sort of woman isn’t for me, but clearly some people are looking for just this.

Nevertheless, you still want a woman that is driven. If she wants to stay at home, cook, clean, and take care of the children, then make sure she’s the kind of woman that wants to be the best stay-at-home mom she could possibly be. Without drive, there is no purpose.

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12. She means the world to you.

Sometimes we love a person beyond imagination and we aren’t sure why. To be truthful, you don’t really need a reason. If you love her and can’t imagine your life without her, then don’t allow yourself to lose her.

If she means that much to you, then understand that she means that much to you. Too often people don’t realize what the other person means to them until they lose them. We always think that there will be another chance, that it’s possible that the two of you will one day reconnect.

Maybe. But the opposite is also true. You may have lost her forever. You may suffer for years and years because you let go of the most important thing in your life. Don’t take the risk.

www.loveandindulgence.com.au

Ways Men tell you they "Love You" without saying it

Its Plain, Its Simple. 

Take note ladies and don't screw it up!

Frequent Eye contact
That right. When he looks at you, I mean AT YOU, he is saying all he needs to say. Even if its across the room, when your eyes lock you should be able to feel his electricity. He is smitten!


He is happy to do household chores
He wants to help lighten the load. Don't knock it back ladies as this is his masculine energy actually coming out to play. Men are 'doers' and this is his way of expressing how he feels about you and this relationship.

Meaningful gifts
Anyone can walk into a shop and pluck something off the shelf but does that gift have any real thought put into to it? Is it linked to anything you have said in the past that you like, or match your personality. I have had gifts in the past that make me think "do you even know me??"
So when he has given you a gift of meaning it means he has listened and it wasn't just selective this time.

He send you random text message just because
I love these. Completely random in topic and time. It means he has you in the forefront of his mind.

He squeezes your hand when out in public or with mates
This is the ultimate message that if you were alone right now he would probably rip your clothes off and give you the most passionate kiss you've had in weeks. Mmmmm

Stands tall and proud
He does this because of you not for you. you make him want to be a better man and a bigger man in this case (yes, pun intended).

He listens to you intently
Famous male 'selective hearing' does not come into play here. He is listening to you as he is genuinely interested in what you have to say. Trust me...does his eyes looked glazed over? If not he is soo into you.

He smiles after he kisses you
That's what I call the "yum yum bubblegum" smirk. He wants more!! Expect the next kiss to be more passionate then the one pre-smile.

He loves being close...real close to you
Well there is velcro babies and then the all consuming I want to just crawl into your skin closeness. you just can;t seem to get enough of it. The touch, the smell, your soft skin, your scent. It just keeps getting better every second he is close to you. So expect lots of snuggles, cuddling and canoodling!

Spontaneous touching
Just when you least expect it he will pull you close and stroke your cheek or even hold it in the palm of his hand while he haves in your eyes or gives you a gentle kiss. Or maybe its a cheeky pat on the butt. No matter what it is, when it spontaneous its great.

His friends love you
You can tell how someone likes you when you not only know he has told his mates but they have met you and like you. For a bloke this is important as in his mind his spare time will be divided between his mates and his lover which is hopefully you!

He gives you long...lasting deep kisses
These are the ones that when you walk away your head is spinning a little. When you think of him your thinking of that kiss and licking your lips. Long...deep...passionate.

Mirrored behaviour
When couples are connected on the next level they have a tendency to mirror not only each others responses to things and behaviour but also start dressing and physically looking the same. Same tone clothes or fashion styling come sin to play here. If you don't believe me, next time your out and about do some people watching and take note of there clothing. It matches doesn't it!

He finds you hilarious
Its not hard work to make him smile let alone find you refreshingly amusing. Yes you!

www.loveandindulgence.com.au

Open Relationships Reduce Jealousy? 12 Surprising Facts About Non-Monogamy

For those who know me well they know that I have talked about how for me personally, I don't see a monogamous relationship working anymore as I see myself and my life, sex, relationships and what I want in my future in a different perspective. Now I know for many they gasp at the thought of a non-monogamous relationship and are disgusted by it or quite simply don't understand it all.

So this is an article I found by Zhana Vrangalova that I hope will answer some of those head scratching questions for you on why so many people and couples have jumped the fence.

For one thing, swingers report more exciting and satisfying lives than the general population.

Consensually non-monogamous (CNM) relationships, where committed partners mutually agree not to be sexually and/or romantically exclusive to one another, are slowly gaining visibility in the media. Yet, a few anecdotes aside, they are still shrouded in stereotype and mystery. Here are 12 things that recent research reveals about these relationships and the people involved in them. (Some of this research is so brand new that it hasn’t yet been published, only presented at professional conferences, so you’re getting a sneak preview.)


People in CNM relationships may be more prevalent than gay people. Up to 2% of U.S. women identify as lesbian, and up to 4% of men identify as gay. We don’t have nationally representative data on CNM, but in large online samples, 4-5% of respondents say they’re currently in a CNM relationship. Broken down by sexual orientation among Vermont couples, a CNM agreement was had by 3.5% hetero couples, 5% lesbian couples, and up to 50% gay male couples. Yes, gay men are waaay more likely to practice CNM than everyone else.

Up to 40% of men and up to 25% of women might consider CNM. That is how many of 600 participants in a monogamous relationship said they would switch to nonmonogamy if they lived in a world where everyone had open relationships. These data are yet to be published, but some already published research suggests similar openness among many people to try CNM if their partner suggested or OK’d it.

Desire for (non)monogamy exists on a continuum. In his bestseller Sex at Dawn, Chris Ryan argued that humans as a species are nonmonogamous. However, new data from Lisa Dawn Hamilton’s lab suggests it may be more accurate to think of the tendency toward (non)monogamy as a personality characteristic that ranges on a spectrum from very low to very high (just like, say, extraversion and introversion). In other words, some people are completely monogamous, others are completely nonmonogamous, and many more are somewhere in between.

Stigma against CNM is strong, robust, and incredibly pervasive. CNM and the people engaged in it are considered worse than monogamists on virtually every personal or relationship characteristic you could think of, including sexual health, commitment, trust, romance, kindness, loneliness, jealousy, generosity, life satisfaction, education, and success, to name a few. In a psychological phenomenon called the “halo effect,” this negativity extends to traits and behaviors that have nothing to do with relationships. People think that non-monogamists are worse at paying taxes, dog walking, taking multivitamins, or teeth flossing.

This stigma is so pervasive, that even people who are themselves in a CNM relationship think that CNM is inferior to monogamy on almost all of the above characteristics. This is kind of like internalized homophobia experienced by gay people –living in world that strongly stigmatizes your sexual orientation or lifestyle, you can’t help but internalize those prejudices.

Not all CNM types are perceived as equally bad. Swingers (who typically have purely casual sex with others, together with their partners, often in group sex situations) are perceived as dirtier, less moral, less responsible, and less mature than polyamorists (who typically have multiple, long-term sexual and romantic relationships). Those in open relationships (who typically have casual sex with others, but one-on-one, separately from their main partners) were perceived somewhere in between.

When having sex with other people, CNM folks are more responsible regarding health than supposedly monogamous people who are cheating. CNM people are less likely to drink or do drugs beforehand, and more likely to use condoms for vaginal and anal sex, discuss prior partner and STI testing history, cover or sterilize sex toys, and, of course, tell their primary partner about it. What’s more, when they do use condoms, CNM people are more likely than cheaters to use them properly, like check for damage or pinch the tip before putting on the condom, and less likely to make mistakes, like put it on the wrong way then just flip it over, or put it on after intercourse started.

As a result, CNM people do not report more sexually transmitted infections than monogamous folks. As I reported in a recent Playboy article, unpublished data presented at by Justin Lehmiller suggests that people in CNM relationships report virtually identical rates of STIs as those in monogamous relationships – about 20%.

Swingers report more exciting and satisfying lives—sexually and otherwise—than the general population. In the general U.S. population, 32% say they are “very happy” with their lives and 46% think their life is exciting; by comparison, in a large sample of over 1,000 swingers, these numbers were 59% and 76%, respectively. Moreover, 25% of women and 9% of men in the general U.S. population have not had a single orgasm in the past year. Compare that to another large sample of over 1,200 swingers, where less than 5% of women and 1% of men reported never reaching orgasm during swinging (and they may still reach orgasm when not swinging).

People in CNM relationships experience less jealousy than those in monogamous relationships. This is certainly true of gay couples. New, yet-to-be-published data from Terri Conley’s lab suggest it is also true of hetero couples, with polyamorists being particularly low on jealousy. This shouldn’t be surprising really – people who would consider a nonexclusive arrangement are probably pretty non-jealous to begin with.

Finally, CNM couples usually report similar (and sometimes higher) relationship quality than monogamous couples, including things like relationship satisfaction, intimacy, trust, commitment, or communication between those in monogamous versus CNM relationships. Together with some of Conley’s new research, it looks like this may depend on the type of CNM, with polyamorists showing greater relationship quality than monogamists, those in open relationships showing lower quality, and swingers showing no differences either way.

Perhaps more critically, it may be the lying and hiding that’s linked to worse relationships. In two studies of gay couples, those who were really monogamous and those in CNM relationships had similar relationship quality; it was the cheaters that showed lower relationship quality than both non-cheating groups.

There is so much more to be learned about CNM and the people involved in it, but science is finally starting to ask these questions.


www.loveandindulgence.com.au

10 Tips to be the Woman a man Desires

1. Remember that you’re 100 percent responsible for your own happiness.

2. Don’t be dependent or independent but be interdependent.

3. Be fun.

4. Be a friend.

5. Show your appreciation, do it often. That includes in bed. Know what I mean?

6. Let him off the hook, especially after you’ve made him aware of his infraction and he has apologized.

7. Live in the present moment.

8. Even when you’re upset at him, take responsibility for your actions and feelings.

9. More often than not, choose happiness over being right.

10. Cultivate a Lightness of Being.


www.loveandindulgence.com.au

Online Dating Over 50: The Rules of The Game

High50's Monica Porter, who dated "dangerously" for a year, shares nine top tips to help protect yourself, including: don't believe anything, be careful who you get into bed with and split the check.

If you're looking for romance through online dating, make skepticism your starting point, says Monica.

The world of online dating should be regarded as a vast pick-up joint. I know because I immersed myself in it for a year (in my late fifties), and believe me, whether I was encountering horny young men or equally horny (if less crude) older men, the ultimate aim was sex.

That doesn't mean you can't find a serious relationship, even real love, online. After all, a lot of today's married couples met on a dating site. But if that is what you are after, you must be extra wary of (pardon the expression) who you "get into bed with."

As a mature adult you'll need to employ all the healthy skepticism you've built up over the decades, because it's easy on the internet for a person to be economical with the truth, or to tell outright lies about who they are and what they're after.

Rule #1 of dating over 50: Don't believe anyone.

So, lesson number one: believe in nothing until it happens, and no one until you know them.

Emotionally, you need to construct a wall around yourself which nobody can penetrate until you believe it to be safe. People will plunder your emotions without compunction if you let them. It is up to you keep them locked up, like jewels.

Some women, in particular, leave themselves emotionally vulnerable by investing too much hope in a particular potential mate, or after physical intimacy with someone.

If you meet someone you fancy, by all means enjoy good, fun sex. But - hard-nosed as it sounds, and I can't pretend it's always easy - take the emotion out of it or you will be hurt over and over again.

If and when a deeper relationship comes along, don't worry, emotion will come flooding back.

Then there is the scamming side of online dating. Most people have heard the woeful tales of vulnerable, lonely women preyed on by men who promise them love before persuading them to stump up big bucks for a bogus medical bill or some other phony hard-luck scenario.

But it works both ways. There are also the glamorous young foreign women (often revealed to be prostitutes) who expertly manipulate an older man's vanity as an easy way into his wallet, or perhaps to gain British nationality.

Rule #2: Don't part with money.

Lesson number two: if it all sounds too wonderful to be true, that's because it's a lie. Whatever you do, don't open your wallet to a stranger, especially the ones whispering sweet nothings into your computer.

And those aren't the only online dating scams.

One middle-aged Indian gent I dined with during my dating escapades told me about the "gorgeous young blonde" of vaguely Eastern European origin who seductively chatted him up online before conning him into returning her call on an expensive "sexual services" number.

He was too embarrassed to hang up and by the time he ended it, half an hour later, he'd added $70 to his phone bill.

The poor mug had never asked himself why a sexy pouting 25-year-old would throw herself at a fifty-something divorcee.

Rule #3: Beware of profile photos.
Mind you, he hadn't been entirely honest himself. His online photo showed a younger, better looking man than the ropey, dentally challenged individual sitting opposite me in the restaurant.

It is common for dating site users to edit themselves in some way. Some purport to be single, while having a hapless spouse at home. These are usually the candidates without a profile photo. Never respond to contact from the 'faceless'.

Rule #4: Don't use sites for older people.
There are thousands of dating sites. It can be overwhelming, and tricky to choose the right one. My first few weeks online were spent in trial and error. To begin with I used a dating site designed for principally for seniors, but I would advise against this.

Think about it. It attracts the sort of people who only feel safe among their own age group. Don't cut yourself off from the young and their culture, as they help to keep you young too.

Bigger, mainstream, all-generations sites tend to be less staid and a bit more funky. Match.com and eHarmony are among the most popular, and allow you to cast a wide net.

You will meet both people who want a proper relationship and those merely in search of fun and games. Other users, irritatingly, don't seem to know what they want; they just like being in the playground.

Remember that like any other business, dating sites want your money, and they have been known to employ tricks to encourage you to sign up, such as using fake profiles of potential partners who "want to contact you".

Rule #5: Try dating apps.
OK, it's not really a rule, but another option is the dating app for your smartphone, which matches you with people in your geographical area, if you have both registered a mutual attraction. I spent a wild week or two on Tinder, meeting younger men. What good fun.

But Tinder isn't for everybody. If you are over 50 and looking for something a bit more, um, traditional, there is a new app for you, called Stitch. It's being trialled at the moment in the US and Australia.

As with Tinder, only people who like the look and sound of each other will be able to make contact. But the site is meant to be as much about finding someone for friendship and companionship, as for romance and rumpy pumpy.

Despite its frequent frustrations and disappointments, I loved my adventurous year of internet dating. I met a staggering array of people, had some good times, and learnt a lot - about myself and others.

My 'dangerous dating' was brought to an abrupt end due to an unexpected turn of events and in any case I was beginning to feel it had run its natural course. And since the book was published, I have been contacted by many men asking to meet me - so I don't feel tempted to do any more internet dating.

However, online dating is a world of opportunity, courtesy of our wondrous modern technology. Delve in. And good luck.

Four more tips for online dating
• Try a few different sites, subscribing for the minimum period on each (usually a month) until you find the right one.

• Don't provide intimate details about yourself until you feel comfortable with the person you are dealing with.

• Never give money to anyone for anything. If you are a woman, at most offer to split the cost of drinks or a meal.

• Be friendly but on your guard. Enter a dating site as you would walk through a slightly sketchy part of town: looking over your shoulder and holding on to your valuables.

www.loveandindulgence.com.au

5 Tips For Improving Your Sex Life

Getting two people on the same page about sex isn’t easy. But sexual relationships, like all relationships, need to be negotiated and worked at — which is what you can start doing with these tips from Dr. Phil.

1. Maintain a good overall relationship.
If one of you feels unsupported or unappreciated, chances are you won’t be rolling in the hay very often. If you want a good sexual relationship, it needs to be just one piece of a good overall relationship.

2. Examine your relationship.
Sex involves vulnerability. It is an act that can flow freely only with mental, emotional and physical trust. If you are having sexual frustrations, examine the relationship at large. Are you creating an environment of giving, receiving, trust and relaxation? If not, changing those dynamics will be essential before your sex life can change.

3. Let go.
Sex should not be forced. It should be just one more way of expressing mutuality, support and caring. It can then be the springboard for more thoughts and appreciative behaviors that will bridge into the next, seemingly spontaneous, sexual interaction.

4. Be a good partner.
It is illogical for you to ignore your significant other in the morning, bark at him/her during the day, argue in the evening, and then fall into his/her arms for a fanciful sexual adventure at night. Insensitivity, inattention and hostility make sexual intimacy unnatural. If you want a rhythmic pattern of sexual intimacy, then create a relational pattern that reflects the same intimate emotions.

5. Make sex a priority.
If everything with your partner seems to be flowing consistently, problems with sexual relations may persist for different reasons. There are times when one or both partners become distracted and allow sexual interaction to slide down the priority scale. These couples have allowed a number of competing activities and circumstances to rob them of this very special, intimate exchange. You must consciously commit to putting sex back in your life.

www.loveandindulgence.com.au

6 Qualities That Make You a Love Magnet

Forget about ripped abs, bulging biceps, and a flat stomach, as well as a fat bank account, friends in high places, and your own private jet. These six personality traits power the pull of magnetic attraction. 

Written beautifully by Thomas G. Fiffer for The Good Men Project.

It’s nearing the end of the day and the weekend’s approaching. Are you getting ready to go home to your lover and making fun weekend plans? Or are you reading advice articles and wondering why, despite your hours at the gym and in those continuing ed classes, that special someone you desire so dearly to date—and perhaps move in with or marry—never seems to materialize? Some people choose a single life, and embracing solitude doesn’t mean staying solitary or feeling unfulfilled. But for those who are seeking—and not finding—the perfect partner of your dreams, the list below offers some surprises on what people truly find irresistible.

1. Consistency. Myth: Consistent people are dull and boring; they lack spontaneity and a sense of adventure. Consistency may be the hobgoblin of small minds, but it is the heart of successful relationships. Being consistent doesn’t rule out “Surprising your mate with an unexpected [whatever the magazine recommends].” You can be consistently surprising, consistently out of the box, consistently different. What being consistent does mean is showing up when you say you will. It means working steadily at projects until you finish. It means having values and principles and sticking to them, especially when they’re challenged. And it means maintaining healthy emotional and physical life habits. Consistent people know that being present in the same way every day beats the occasional grand gesture hands down every time. Consistency is … tempting.

2. Balance. Myth: All passionate lovers are emotionally unstable basket cases. Being balanced doesn’t mean you don’t possess strong passions—in the conference room or the bedroom—or that you dutifully list the pros and cons before your every move. Being balanced means you have a center and can navigate rough waters and roll with the surges. It means you don’t easily get upset or thrown off your game. It means you can understand and accept a person’s feelings while respectfully disagreeing. And it means you don’t internalize the anxiety of the people around you. Balanced people have their own thermometer that remains at body temperature when things around them start to bubble and boil. Balance is … hot.

3. Openness. Myth: Open people lack conviction and don’t know what they want. Being open doesn’t mean being willing to do anything or answering every question with, “whatever, you choose.” Being open means being open-minded, open to new experiences and experiments. Being open means listening before you decide or judge. Being open means joining your partner in an unpleasant emotion—frustration, disappointment, sadness—even if it is not your own and even if you are the cause. Being open also means never, ever being dismissive and always being open to discussion. Being open means being open-eyed and aware of your own issues. And being open means being generous and acting with an open heart and open hands. Openness is … alluring. 

4. Impulse control.  Myth: Impulsive people are the only ones who are free be themselves, generate excitement, and pursue their dreams. Having impulse control doesn’t mean suppressing your true nature, measuring out your life with coffee spoons, or never taking a risk or blowing the budget on something big. Having impulse control means not behaving in a self-destructive manner. It means not gossiping or indulging negativity. It means putting your best interest ahead of your self-interest—most of the time—and leaning towards your better nature. It means holding back even when you’re enraged and holding your tongue as well. It means not thinking from below the waist. And it means responding instead of reacting. Impulse control is … seductive.

5. Tenderness. Myth: Tender people are weak and oversensitive. Tenderness is not the opposite of strength but the foundation of strength, and sensitivity is a strong quality. Being tender means baring your heart, exposing your soft parts with a confident vulnerability. It means acting gently and with compassion, a stance that requires courage. It means humbly acknowledging your own frailty as you lend support to others, knowing they will lean on you and make you bend. It means not just drying tears and dusting someone off but affirming that it’s OK to cry. It means when someone is pushed and stumbles, you shout “man down” instead of “man up.” It means foreplay is an act in itself. Tenderness is … arousing.

6. Boundaries. Myth: Boundaries are those silly things you let go of when you fall in love. Boundaries are absolutely the most important thing you can bring to and maintain in every type of relationship and especially in intimate ones. Having boundaries eliminates confusion and lets you be clear when you communicate. Having boundaries means you don’t secretly resent what you allow. Having boundaries means you have self-respect, without which you’re not capable of respecting your partner. Having boundaries means you always know where you stand with each other and what happens if you cross the line. Having boundaries means understanding that healthy relationships are based on accommodation, not sacrifice. Having boundaries is … sexy.

Watch These Awesome Lesbian Women Teach Clueless Straight People About 'Real Sex'

 

What is your definition of Sex?

www.loveandindulgence.com.au

Qualities a woman wants in a man

Ok guys you are sitting there scratching your head wondering what in gods name a woman is actually looking for. We all hear women on screen talking about the "tall, dark and handsome" but is that REALLY what they want?

The answer is no.

Women in all honesty are simple buy have this habit of being so shady that men are left thinking we are difficult beings that will never be satisfied but in actual fact that's not correct at all.

Firstly you need to understand that women are reactive so whatever you bring into the relationship we will copy that behaviour. You shut down and stop communicating, we will stop communicating. You stop helping her around the house, she will stop doing things just for you. You lose your cool in an arguement, she will yell too...and so on. So everytime you want something think about what you are doing as she is your reflection.

What you bring to the relationship must be genuine and for the long term.

So here are the qualities:

Intelligence - this comes from being intelligent to have initiative to make plans, help out without being asked (noticing things that need to be done) and what I call mind f*cking her. Yes thats right, many women crave intellectual stimulation. Its super sexy!

Strength - now I'm not talking about muscles. I'm more talking about your coping mechanism. We need you to be our rock just like we need to be yours.

Direction - we need our man to have goals. Have a vision of what he wants in the future. This is imperative for our security. We actually want our man to have passion. To be a leader. We don't want a guy who is a dreamer, we need a man with reality and goals. It represents stability.

Presence - This is important. All to often people re not present. this is important for both parties to be present however commonly men are distracted by work, social pressure, sport and their own inner thoughts to not be present. We know when your not present. Just because you can repeat what we just said to you back to us doesn't mean you heard a word. So please be present.

Passion - Just as we want you to have direction we love when you are passionate about it. Be passionate about everything you do. It is a sexy quality but more a one that we find endearing and brings us closer to you.

Humour - please have a sense of humour! If you can't take the piss out of yourself whats the point. Having a sense of humour means you tend to be someone who smiles a lot, laughs a lot, has a better aspect on life and is fun.

Consistency - you need to understand that just being present isn't enough. We need you to be consistent in your actions, not just your words. Be consistent with the other above qualities also.