[Valid Atom 1.0] Love & Indulgence Blog: chemistry
Showing posts with label chemistry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chemistry. Show all posts

Wednesday, 21 January 2015

12 Special Qualities A Woman Has That Mean You Should Never Let Her Go

I came across this great article by Paul Hudson in Elite Daily and had to share them with you. Why? As they were written soo simply and soo accurately. So for all you Men out there, have a read as your Miss Right may be standing next to you sharing your fries and you were too blind to see...before you learn't those qualities below. Enjoy the read!



Every once in a while – on very rare occasions – we meet the woman of our dreams. It’s always unexpected and almost never at a convenient point in our lives, but she appears nonetheless and changes your life forever.
The dynamics between man and woman have been gradually changing for the past few decades, but the essence of the partnership basically remains the same.
We are designed by nature in a way that allows two such opposites to join and make a whole. Finding your other half is a journey of its own – usually a grueling one at that.
If you are lucky enough to find that woman, that rare sunflower growing on a barren desert, then do right by yourself and hold on to her as tightly as you can – never, ever let her go.
Not all of us were so wise when we met the loves of our lives… and believe me when I say that we’re regretting it. If she has any combination of these 12 qualities then you should never let her go:

1. She’s smarter than you.

Every man needs a smarter woman to help him get through life in one piece. They say that behind every great man is a greater woman – they aren’t lying. Without woman, man is little more than an ego-trip.
Enter a smarter woman into his life and suddenly that ego has a purpose, a direction, and the wisdom not to screw everything up.

2. She’s beautiful.

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder – as long as you find her to be incredibly beautiful, according to your definition, then she is worth holding on to.
I feel that these days we have those that put too much emphasis on beauty and then those that are rebelling against the concept and giving little to no importance to beauty.
Beauty is something that has been reveled upon since humans had eyes; it’s not something that we should be ashamed of, but rather something we should learn to appreciate properly.

3. She’s kind and nurturing.

Good people are kind people. If she isn’t kind then she isn’t worthy of taking up a part of your life. Being a woman, being nurturing is very important as well. Some people may not want children.
In some relationships the man may be more nurturing than the woman. Nevertheless, women are born with/develop maternal instincts with age. If you wish to one day start a family then you want to be sure you found a woman who wants to be, and is suited to become, a mother.

4. She’s vivacious.

Life gets difficult from time to time. It can get boring and monotonous just as well.
Women weren’t created to entertain men – if anything, it’s probably the other way around – but having a woman who is lively, energetic and hungry for adventure will add a dynamic to our life that will only make you happier.

5. She loves you with all her heart.

This is, by far, the most important quality any woman can have. When a woman loves you she loves you with her entire soul. It’s not the same sort of love that men experience – men always were and always will be more egocentric than women.
Women, on the other hand, have the uncanny ability to devote themselves entirely to the person(s) they love. If you find a woman that truly loves you then you found the greatest gift in the universe.

6. She’s willing to make compromises.

People are stubborn – both male and female alike. We like things the way that we like them and aren’t especially open to making changes we don’t deem necessary to make. However, relationships require making compromises.
It’s just the way things have to work if you want them to work. Finding a woman who will make compromises is only half the battle, however. You’re going to have to make them just as well.

7. She feels like home.

Being in love, deeply in love, is like finding your place in the world, your home, for the first time in your life. It’s knowing that you are exactly where you ought to be and that there is nowhere in the world you’d rather be.
If you look into her eyes and see your soul reflected in them, then you’re home. Don’t ever leave.

8. She is more than happy to tell you when you’re wrong.

Every man – and I mean every man – needs a woman who will call him out on his sh*t. Guys have an uncanny ability to make poor decisions and do stupid things.
Finding a woman who will keep you on track and tell you when you’re wrong can very well make or break your life.

9. She is strong, but feminine.

All people have a slightly different taste for the women they are attracted to – but they are all a combination of strength and femininity. A strong woman is a partner every man needs.
A feminine woman is… well, a woman. The two aren’t opposites. In fact, they are often one and the same – when found in a woman that knows how to hold her ground and be proud of who she is.

10. She’s passionate.

A life filled with passion is a life worth living. But living a life of passion alone is basically impossible. Passion exists between two living things – usually, in some way or another, between two individuals.
The beauty of passion is that it’s rather contagious. It’s the world’s most revered pathogen.

11. She’s driven.

I understand that some men want women to be stay-at-home wives. I also understand that there are plenty of women who want the very same. This sort of woman isn’t for me, but clearly some people are looking for just this.
Nevertheless, you still want a woman that is driven. If she wants to stay at home, cook, clean, and take care of the children, then make sure she’s the kind of woman that wants to be the best stay-at-home mom she could possibly be. Without drive, there is no purpose.

12. She means the world to you.

Sometimes we love a person beyond imagination and we aren’t sure why. To be truthful, you don’t really need a reason. If you love her and can’t imagine your life without her, then don’t allow yourself to lose her.
If she means that much to you, then understand that she means that much to you. Too often people don’t realize what the other person means to them until they lose them. We always think that there will be another chance, that it’s possible that the two of you will one day reconnect.
Maybe. But the opposite is also true. You may have lost her forever. You may suffer for years and years because you let go of the most important thing in your life. Don’t take the risk.

Monday, 30 June 2014

PORN vs. CHICKFLICKS


“PORN for men is what
CHICK FLICKS is to women” 
Written by Mel Macdonald

How is this even possible that we can compare porn to chick flicks?

For those who are looking to be shocked and educated about an epidemic happening in todays society or are concerned for their children’s future relationship and marriage wellbeing, I suggest you hang-in there with me and read this article in entirety even though it is just the tip of the iceberg!


As females we see porn as more of a derogatory thing towards women. If you asked a guy “Do you think porn is damaging?” some men will also agree it can affect the way they view us women BUT not one man would say that it might be ‘re-wiring the pleasure centre of his brain’. Did you know that?

Now with chick flicks your asking “what’s wrong with some escapist entertainment?”

Well these chick flicks have also be referred to as “emotional porn”. Women are comparing men to fictional hero’s and disregarding the qualities that are actually important for a successful relationship.

Women are oblivious that while they are munching on their popcorn and blowing into their tissues that all the animations, movies and ‘chick-lit’ that they are consuming over the years has underlying messages that are ‘re-wiring’ our brains about life, love and romance.

In-turn both porn and chick flicks is distorting marriage, sex, sexuality, commitment, love, security and intimacy within relationships.

Male porn users base their attraction on the physical, become dissatisfied with their sex lives and bring impossible expectations of sex into their relationships.

Women chick flick viewers have their desires more subtly distorted by movies with expectations of what they see on the big screen bringing dissatisfaction when their counterparts can’t live up to this fantasy.

In response to this ‘re-wiring of the pleasure centre of the brain’ here is what commonly is happening today.

As women we date these men (whether its for one night or not) and are flabbergasted when the below things happen
1.    He is not saying all the right things
2.    I don’t feel that electric chemistry
3.    He isn’t living up to my checklist
4.    He’s not fulfilling all my dreams and desires
5.    He isn’t flattering me with compliments
6.    He can’t get it up!

Today ED (erectile dysfunction) seems to be a common complaint with guy’s predominately in there 20’s and early 30’s.

Women aren’t happy, as we automatically perceive that this ED has something to do with us. Maybe we aren’t pretty enough or attractive enough?

Actually it’s neither. It has NOTHING to do with us at all. This actually has to do with a generation of men who have been brought up with high-speed Internet porn and don’t realise that their brains have been re-wired. They don’t know any different. Let me explain more…

Up till the 1970’s causes of Erectile Dysfunction (ED) were 90% psychological and 10% Organic, organic meaning a physical cause. Due to todays modern technology it is now 10% psychological and 90% Organic.

To get an erection the normal chain of messages are sent from,
Brain – spinal cord – spinal nerves – penis (to become erect)
All nerves are linked in the erection chain.

ED was commonly only seen in elderly men due to ageing and is caused by blocked blood vessels to the penile area. ED for older men stems in the penis area and medical practitioners commonly prescribe Viagra and other ED medicines to assist with this flow.

It was known that ED should be rare if not unheard of in teens and men in there 20’s till now due to the ‘high-speed Internet porn’ availability today!

“ED is now common amongst men as young as teenagers and becoming a silent epidemic”


Now what I want you to know is that ‘porn’ is like any other drug and you can become an ADDICT. With anything we do we have a ‘reward circuit’ hardwired into us. The drug chemical ‘dopamine’ turns our reward circuit on which motivates us get the ‘desire’ to do whatever we need to do. Right at the beginning in the chain of messages sent for an erection ‘dopamine’ triggers this reward circuit.

Sights, sounds and touch send messages to the ‘reward circuit’ and then goes to the hypothalamus ‘erection centre’. It sends dopamine to the penis for an erection.

If you have porn related impotence it means you have ‘re-wired’ this chain of command and it doesn’t work. (Please take note that the first sexual experience a boy has with a women is via porn at an average age of 11 years old).

However what is happening is it rewiring the brain ‘pleasure centre’ in our men and affecting their sex drives towards women (which is why there are complaints about guys not getting it up). The scary thing about all this is they don’t actually know it!

I know your wondering “Is there any hope for these guys?” Yes
As per Gary Wilson, Anatomy and Physiology teacher and speaker on YouTube ‘The Porn Experiment: TedX’ states,
“They need to actively:
1.    Stop all porn viewing now
2.    No porn fantasising
3.    No masturbating
4.    No orgasm
5.    Find replacement activities

Now how long will this take? Depends on how long they have been watching porn, how old they are and the extent to which they watched it. The actual structure of your brain has changed so a 2 month period is not unusual for most mature aged men and for younger more excessive users it can take up to 5 months.

Movie depicts ED

I suggest you watch the movie Don Jon for a better understanding and also go to www.yourbrainonporn.com for more information on this topic.


Now ‘chick flicks’ work in a similar fashion to porn with the re-wiring of the brain.

Just as porn is a fantasy for men, ‘chick flicks’ or “emotional porn” is our fantasy as women. Both porn and chick flicks set up expectations of the other person within our own pleasure centres in our brain.

Now understand that for girls our first experience with a boy is in fantasy movies, literature and animation cartoons and starts at infancy age!

"Our level of attachment is dependant on the frequency of these movies we watch"


It completely determines how strong our attachment is to that fantasy. So when someone says to you that “chick flicks aren’t real”, if you’re a long term viewer your pleasure centre has been wired to believe that they ARE real and your likely to get severely offended!

They are simply a fantasy. You cannot expect every man you meet to do all the things in the movies. Say the right things, buy the right things, do the right things as per our (individual) desires and level of fantasy that we have created in our ‘pleasure centre’ of our brain.

Women make men believe that they are victims and that men break their hearts for sport. Women say they want ‘true love’ but all women want is their checklist that she has obtained from these chick flicks. Is he:
·      Perfect?
·      Handsome?
·      A doctor or financially stable in a good job?

I loved a comment I heard on a movie recently,

“Unfortunately for men they are not sleeping with you they are sleeping with a carefully calculated set of ‘vino’ choices.
Money over Substance
Looks over Soul
Polish Over Principles”

Lets look at it. We have been watching chick flicks and fantasy movies since we started watching cartoons. Snow White, Cinderella, Beauty and the beast, Rapunzel, Shrek even!

So, I’m not for a minute telling you you’re an idiot for believing it, what I am saying is just like how guys are shocked when they find out that their brain has been re-wired by porn, ours has been re-wired from a younger age to believe that men should be behaving a particular way just like in the movies. It’s unrealistic and it’s NOT your fault!

“Society has been preening us for years into a false sense of pleasure”


As young women we do buy-in from the chick flicks and in many cases become ADDICTED to the feeling we get when we watch or read these stories. That’s the same ‘dopamine’ release that happens with porn via our reward circuits.

We have been preened that there is only supposed to be one person in our life to meet and fulfil ALL of our needs and desires. I’m not talking about sexually, I am talking an out other facets of your life in health, spirituality, romance, friendships, business, finances, career, in travel.

The No#1 Romantic movie of all time has creating high expectations

Just look at the highest ranking movie The Notebook. Men cringe as they know they can never live up to the character Noah portrayed in this romance story. Many women never find their ‘Magic Man’ as they live completely within this fantasy expectation. 

Now I am saying ‘fantasy expectations’ because until you acknowledge that we have been unconsciously re-wired from such a young age then that is actually what you are living in.

When you are aware of this rewiring your ‘checklist’ will be completely overhauled. You will spend your time educating yourself more then romanticising and will have more fulfilling relationships regardless of whether it lasts a day, a week or years.

Other changes will occur
-       Your perception and tolerance towards men will change.
-       You won’t feel disgusted that guys watch porn but more curious.
-       You’ll forgive even when your heart is bruised because you understand that he is maybe no longer your ‘Mr Perfect’ and that someone or something else better might be around the corner.
-       You approach relationships completely different with a different perspective.
-       Guys will want to talk to you. They will be drawn to you, as you become a conundrum to them!
-       You don’t belittle them or emasculate them and if you do you acknowledge what you did swiftly.

“Crazy Stupid Romantic Love still exists out there”


However, when you no longer have it as an expectation, when it does happen it’s a pleasant surprise and will have a greater impact on you, as now you will be able to actually identify it and appreciate.

For both sexes, when the ADDICTIONS have been removed and your brain is ‘re-wired’ again, your perspective and everyday life will change as life will now come without a preconceived idea of your destined future or incapable expectations.

Then and only then will the world be your oyster!