10 Tips to be the Woman a man Desires

1. Remember that you’re 100 percent responsible for your own happiness.

2. Don’t be dependent or independent but be interdependent.

3. Be fun.

4. Be a friend.

5. Show your appreciation, do it often. That includes in bed. Know what I mean?

6. Let him off the hook, especially after you’ve made him aware of his infraction and he has apologized.

7. Live in the present moment.

8. Even when you’re upset at him, take responsibility for your actions and feelings.

9. More often than not, choose happiness over being right.

10. Cultivate a Lightness of Being.


www.loveandindulgence.com.au

Qualities a woman wants in a man

Ok guys you are sitting there scratching your head wondering what in gods name a woman is actually looking for. We all hear women on screen talking about the "tall, dark and handsome" but is that REALLY what they want?

The answer is no.

Women in all honesty are simple buy have this habit of being so shady that men are left thinking we are difficult beings that will never be satisfied but in actual fact that's not correct at all.

Firstly you need to understand that women are reactive so whatever you bring into the relationship we will copy that behaviour. You shut down and stop communicating, we will stop communicating. You stop helping her around the house, she will stop doing things just for you. You lose your cool in an arguement, she will yell too...and so on. So everytime you want something think about what you are doing as she is your reflection.

What you bring to the relationship must be genuine and for the long term.

So here are the qualities:

Intelligence - this comes from being intelligent to have initiative to make plans, help out without being asked (noticing things that need to be done) and what I call mind f*cking her. Yes thats right, many women crave intellectual stimulation. Its super sexy!

Strength - now I'm not talking about muscles. I'm more talking about your coping mechanism. We need you to be our rock just like we need to be yours.

Direction - we need our man to have goals. Have a vision of what he wants in the future. This is imperative for our security. We actually want our man to have passion. To be a leader. We don't want a guy who is a dreamer, we need a man with reality and goals. It represents stability.

Presence - This is important. All to often people re not present. this is important for both parties to be present however commonly men are distracted by work, social pressure, sport and their own inner thoughts to not be present. We know when your not present. Just because you can repeat what we just said to you back to us doesn't mean you heard a word. So please be present.

Passion - Just as we want you to have direction we love when you are passionate about it. Be passionate about everything you do. It is a sexy quality but more a one that we find endearing and brings us closer to you.

Humour - please have a sense of humour! If you can't take the piss out of yourself whats the point. Having a sense of humour means you tend to be someone who smiles a lot, laughs a lot, has a better aspect on life and is fun.

Consistency - you need to understand that just being present isn't enough. We need you to be consistent in your actions, not just your words. Be consistent with the other above qualities also.

7 Secrets About Men's Sexual Needs and Desires

A lot of frustrating myths get tossed around about how men think and feel about sex. I found this great article by Scott Alden straight from a mans mouth, explaining to us women what men really desire.

A lot of annoying and frustrating myths get tossed around about how men think and feel about sex. Most of them are based on extremes and seem to come from a need to put something very complicated in simple terms. We're not just looking to get off (we can take care of that pretty easily ourselves). It's not just the thrill of conquest (we assume that when women sleep with us it's because they want to and not because they've been  defeated, right?). It's not just our biological imperative to make as many little versions of ourselves as possible before we die (most of us are actually trying not to knock you up).

So what the hell is it? What drives men toward sex and what does it mean to us when it happens?

In the spirit of promoting better understanding between the sexes, here are six deep dark secrets about how men really feel about sex.

1. We Don't Actually Want Sex All The Time

We just think we're supposed to want it all the time, and unfortunately, this seems to be what women think, too. It's extraordinarily difficult for a man to say no to guaranteed sex, not only because it's considered unmanly, but because women tend to assume that something's wrong. Nothing's wrong. Just like women, we only want sex...when we want it. The problem is that we're often terrible at knowing the difference between sex we want and sex we don't want until the awkward post-coital embrace. We really need to work on that one.

2. Sex = Validation

We're constantly racked with self doubt. We try to ignore it, we cover it up with obnoxious bravado, and occasionally, we actually try to work on the bad habits that are making us feel so lousy about ourselves. Mostly, we try to push away feelings of inadequacy because we're afraid we won't be attractive to women if we present as anything but totally confident. It sucks.

There is a moment, though, when the inner critic just has to shut his stupid little mouth and let the grownups talk. It's the moment of orgasm, followed by the collapse into a woman's arms. That's the best.

3. It Is About Power

The domination thing is no myth, but it's not a scary bad thing either. We want you lost in a raging, out-of-your-mind, forgetting-your-own-name, ocean of ecstasy. We want to you to completely lose control and we want to be the guy who took it from you. But, really, it's not about power 'cause everybody wins, right?

4. We're Distant Because We Care

Sexual prowess is the Holy Grail of manhood. More than success, more than athleticism, more than witty banter—if we're not killer in the sack, we've failed as men. And there's a lot of ways we can fail. It can be over too fast or it can take waaaay too long. We can be too rough or too gentle. We're afraid if we're too emotional you might assume we're head over heels in love with you, or worse yet, we might totally creep you out. Worst of all, there's the fear that we won't get you off.

While some women can orgasm from physical sensation alone, for many, it's a more complex equation. Something like: Physical Stimulation+Feeling of Safety+Feeling of Danger+Loss of Control+Power+Crossing Our Fingers and Hoping For The Best+We Have No Idea.

We want you to have a good time and we certainly don't want you to tell all your friends that we suck in bed. It can be a lot of pressure. So, sometimes we just pretend we don't care and sometimes the pretending becomes habitual. Really, though, deep down, we care a lot.

5. You Probably Know More About What Sex Means To Us Than We Do

Men don't usually get the opportunity to observe themselves during the physical act of love. Women, on the hand get a first-hand POV of what we're like when we're doing it. If you really want to know what sex means to us, try to let go of your assumptions and just pay attention, because....

6. We're All Actually Pretty Different

This is the biggest secret of all, because it's not actually a secret. Everyone already knows that there's no fail-safe formula for understanding men. If you want to understand a man sexually, you have to have actual sex with him. Lots and lots of times. Unfortunately, it's the only way.

7. Oral sex is important

This is my personal rid-bit to this article that I discuss during training sessions. For those of you that didn't know, receiving fellatio is not about power. At times it can be, but usually it is about feeling 'wanted and needed'. This is a very personal sexual actual, just like it is to you ladies when men try and go south (women have stated they find receiving head more personal then sex itself). So when it is done for men, especially when they can see you 'want' to do and even better when you look like you are 'enjoying it', men feel closer to their partners. So next time you think about how to show gents you are really into them and want them...remember its that simple.

www.loveandindulgence.com.au

Men's Opinions On All Things Sex

By Kinkly Staff, January 9, 2014

Source: Tarragona/Dreamstime.com

If you've ever wondered what men think about sex - or perhaps about what other men think about sex - we've got some answers. In 2013, Glamour conducted a survey of 1,131 men between the ages of 18 and 40 and recorded their opinions on all things sex, including their sex lives, and their opinions about sex, sexual harassment in the workplace, and even their sexual politics. Some of the results of this survey confirmed our suspicions, some came as a surprise and some, well, made us laugh. Check it out below.

His Hot Spots: Erogenous Zones for Men

Written by Donna Turner

When it comes to the hot spots – or erogenous zones, more formally – on a guy, chances are your mind goes directly to the penis. This is completely understandable though, because that’s most likely where his mind goes too.

However, it’s far from the only touchable part on his body, so next time you’re getting touchy-feely, be sure to put some focus on the following spots to drive him extra wild.

His E-spot

Otherwise known as his ears, we’re referring to them as the E-spot because guys don’t have any (insert letter)-spots attributed to them. You’re welcome, guys.

The choice bit of the ear to focus on would be the outer ridge, where the firmness of the cartilage can be nibbled lightly between kisses. Try tracing it with the tip of your nose, followed by the hot, wet sensation of your tongue – throw in some heavy breathing, and he’ll be weak in the knees in no time.

His Cheek-spots

And no, we’re not talking about the ones on his face (either way, they’ve got dimples).

He more than likely puts a lot of focus on your butt cheeks, whether he’s grabbing, stroking or spanking them with an open palm or flogger, so now it’s time to give hissome much-needed attention. Have him lie on his stomach to give you full access to his butt, and try a very light touch to start out. Very lightly tickle the surface of his skin with the very tips of your fingernails or a feather teaser, and then have him relax his glutes (no butt flexing!) as you knead your fists deep into the muscly tissue of his cheeks.

Because it tends to be a rare point of focus during intimacy, the attention you’re putting on his butt will likely be an all-new kind of excitement, and will allow you to gauge his response to the next erogenous zone on our list…

His G-spot

Yep, ladies aren’t the only ones with a magic button that delivers explosive climaxes. A man’s G-spot is his prostate, and when his prostate is massaged just right, he’ll experience the kind of orgasm he never, ever thought possible.

The walnut-sized gland can be massaged with your fingertip or a prostate massager while his penis is being otherwise stimulated. Assuming he’s into it, the most effective path to the prostate is through his anus; with a well-lubricated finger, apply pressure to the front wall of his colon, about 2 inches in, with light swirls and taps with your fingertips. Pro tip: keep your nails short!

The indirect way to give him prostate pleasure is a bit less effective, however if he enjoys it he’ll be much more open to the massage method we mentioned above. When you’re stimulating his penis either orally or during a hand job, position yourself so that you have two fingertips placed over his perineum – the area between his scrotum and anus. As he begins to approach climax, start applying pressure to this spot to indirectly massage his prostate.

BILLY

LUX RANGE

ANAL FANTASY PROSTATE MASSAGER

His F-spot

Here’s one you may never have heard of. Imagine, if you will, a penis – now, think of the underside of it. You know that thin band of skin that connects the head with the shaft? That’s called the frenulum, and it’s actually full of nerve connections that are very sensitive to the right kind of touch.

When giving him oral sex, use your hand to stroke his shaft at the same time, but keep your elbow up so that your finger tips are sliding over the underside of his penis. When you move your hands up and down the length of his shaft in tandem with the movements of your mouth, you’ll also be stroking his frenulum and sending him into a sensual frenzy at the same time.

www.loveandindulgence.com.au

6 Unexpected Male Erogenous Zones

So you know everything about your partner, right? We wouldn’t doubt it for a second, but as with most things, it’s good to keep learning. When it comes to your man and what gets him turned on, check out these other erogenous zones that may be going unnoticed, and make sure you’re not missing the point!


His Forehead

Perhaps not the first erogenous zone that springs to mind, but hey that’s the point. The head and scalp are covered with nerve endings that will amplify the lightest touch, so try softly massaging from the hairline to the forehead. This will activate the release of feel-good hormones like dopamine and serotonin, resulting in some relaxation and a better mood that will get him in the mood.

The Back of His Knees

It might be ticklish back there, but this area is very valuable when stimulated during foreplay. Due to the smoothness and hairlessness of the skin back there, it’s extra sensitive to touch, so try a light, circular stroke to turn up the heat before or during the main event.

His Ears

According to sex coach and sexuality educator Amy Levine, his ears are “… often a forgotten area that can soothe or excite.” By either focusing some soft smooches or hot breaths on his lobes, you can expect his excitement to grow, or lightly pinch the area where his lobes meet his face and gently tug them downward. Repeat.

His Feet

“Men love foot massages,” says Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First. What’s more, according to reflexology, the heels are pressure points that are believed to trigger sexual arousal. Our suggestion? After you get his socks off, use massage oil, especially of the scented variety.

His Eyelids

Attention paid to his eyelids is a great way to get him in the lovemaking frame of mind. With his eyes closes, trace your fingertips gently around his eye sockets and over his eyes before laying some light kisses on the area. His closed eyes make it so that you’re in control while he can’t see, changing the power dynamic in a titillating way.

His Prostate

The final frontier for many men when it comes to pleasure, the prostate shouldn’t be overlooked, as it can greatly enhance his enjoyment during foreplay and sex. Prostate massage (with a body-safe and easy-to-clean prostate massager of course) can result in the most intense ever orgasms he’s ever had, and with that sole reason in mind, there’s no reason not to give it a try.

Next article: Beyond the Bump, Sex during pregnancy

4 More Reasons for a Kiss & Cuddle

Hey, do you like getting intimate with your partner? How about sex? Well if you said yes to both, then have we got good news for you; displaying your affections for your partner is not only good for your mood, but will positively impact your health as well.



It mainly comes down to oxytocin; this special hormone is linked to a number of positive physiological reactions including pain relief and pair bonding, and is what makes something as simple as a hug such a reassuring and satisfying act. So reassuring, in fact, that the American Psychosomatic Society reports that a brief hug and ten minutes of hand holding will greatly reduce stress and can carry on throughout the day.

This comes as great news for couples, especially considering that we’re less than 2 weeks away from Valentine’s Day, the lovin’-est, touchin’-est time of year. Take our word for it, and treat your health to these following moves for all the right reasons;



Talking: Simply spending no-touch time together with your romantic partner makes you feel at ease, and lowers blood pressure as well, according to a study out of the State University of New York at Oswego. This finding correlates with a number of previous studies that show less instances of heart disease among married people – bonus!



Cuddling: While we’re talking about communication, did you know that cuddling (otherwise known as ‘endurance hugging’) is an effective way to tell your partner what you can’t say with words? This is the case, according to marriage and family therapist David Klow, who told Shape Magazine that cuddling “Non-verbal communication can be a very powerful way to say to your partner ‘I get you,’”. Additional to this is the release of that sweet oxytocin, which will embolden the feelings of closeness you both share.



Kissing: Some good smoochin’ will not only raise your levels of oxytocin and serve to reduce stress, but kissing also helps to keep your mouth clean; when you kiss, you’re also flushing bacteria and plaque away from your teeth – so brush, floss, rinse and pucker up!



SEX!: The health-related reasons to be enjoying more sex are numerous, enough so that some physicians recommend 200 orgasms a year to reap the most benefits. And what benefits they are! Not only will a racy romp burn off a couple calories, it will also bolster your immune system, making you more resistant to colds and the flu.
And while you’re adding some extra TLC to your fitness routine, don’t forget about diet and exercise – namely, foods and workouts that bolster and enhance your sexual performance. 

Next article: How to choose your first sex toy