When You Want It More Then He Does

Hey readers, 

Found this great article and wanted to share with you all.

On a personal note, I have been in this position a few times. I found that my age increased my libido and their work, stress, mind or depression decreased theirs. I believe this is a common problem with many of us so please take in the wise words below to better understand.

I remember too well discovering the utter pleasure of having sex with one particular partner (who will remain unnamed). The first few times weren't great, but once I felt comfortable and confident, there was no stopping me. I couldn't get enough.

But whereas I was getting more and more excited about all the sexy things he could do to me and I could do to him — I felt like a hormonal teenager because all I could think about was having sex with him — it soon became clear that he didn't want it as much as I did.

Being sexually rejected on an almost daily basis was hard to take.

Not only did he make me feel unattractive, but he also made me feel like I was a nymphomaniac. That relationship only lasted for eleven months in total. In hindsight, I wish I had known how to better deal with my feelings of rejection.

The sexual stereotype that men have stronger libidos has left women such as myself feeling rejected and hurt, not to mention sexually frustrated.

But gender researcher Professor Hugo Schwyzer points out it's important to distinguish feelings of rejection from feelings of sexual frustration.

"While it's undeniably upsetting to be the one who 'wants it more', how much of the upset is tied to feeling 'like a freak' because women aren't supposed to have the higher libido?".

"Rejection never feels good, just as having to reject isn't much fun either. But clearly, to be a young woman with a consistently higher sexual desire than one's male partner is always going to be especially painful because of the way in which it contradicts all of our cultural programming. The one comfort that folks in my position can offer — and I do offer it repeatedly — is to remind those who are confused and hurting that this is not nearly as unusual as they think." In fact, it was recently proven that women's sexual desire is just as strong and ravenous as men's — proving once and for all that the belief that men want more sex than women is just a myth, and that our expectations of how women are in bed have been shaped by cultural beliefs.

So what can you do if you want it more than he does? Is having mismatched libidos a deal breaker in a relationship?

If you truly love your partner, but fear your mismatched libidos are a problem, here are a few questions you should ask yourself:

•Why don't you masturbate? Having your own sex life can not only improve your general health and well-being, but also the state of your relationship. Think sexy thoughts about your partner while self-pleasuring if it helps making you feel closer to your partner. For beginners, we recommend using a toy like Nalone Roma — it's sleek, discrete and will pinpoint all of the vibrations to your clitoris, giving you sensational C-spot orgasms. Can be used on your own or even later with a partner. If you're looking for something even more earth shattering, you might like to try The Kissing Swan by Swan for dual C-spot and G-spot stimulation.

•Do you really want sex? Or is it intimacy, affection and maybe just confirmation that he desires you that you're really after? Learn to differentiate between sex and affection. A cuddle on the coach or an intimate massage session can satisfy your immediate hunger if it's really intimacy you want.

However, if you are really concerned about your mismatched libidos, talking to a relationship or sex therapist could be a good idea.

For me? Well, I'm happy to announce that I'm in a sexually very satisfactory relationship today, and my man wants it just as much as I do. Which is a lot — but we both love it!

Enjoy yourself.

Miss M

www.loveandindulgence.com.au

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10 Myths & Facts about your Orgasm

Every year, the number of studies proving the physical, emotional, physiological and even societal benefits of sex and orgasms just keep on growing. Nowadays it’s no secret that sex is an affective calorie burner or that orgasms can do wonders for your health. But when it comes to more in-depth orgasmic inquiries, it’s easy to get caught up in fictitious facts and figures. 

Realizing this, we’re here to help you better know your ‘O’ by once and for all separating orgasm fact from orgasm fiction with 10 orgasm facts and myths. 

MYTH: Aging reduces your chance of having an orgasm.

Due to built up trust, confidence, comfort and intimacy with a long-term partner, women actually experience better orgasms with age. In a recent survey, 70% of women in their 50s claimed that they had an orgasm the last time they had sex.  In addition, the older you are, the more familiar you will be with your body’s actions, reactions and pleasure points.

FACT: Difficulty reaching orgasm is a common issue.

Don’t be fooled by the media. One-third of women experience difficulty achieving orgasm during sex, and a whopping 80% of women have difficulty reaching orgasm solely through vaginal intercourse. Quite unlike the seemingly 100% success-rate of their male counterparts, women have to experiment and discover the rhythm and pressure combinations that their bodies most pleasurably respond to—a tantalizing trial made mutually mind-blowing with the aid of a couples’ vibrator.

MYTH: Your inability to orgasm is your partner’s problem, not yours.

While of course your partner’s performance plays a role, remember that like any relationship challenge, this, too, comes with shared responsibility. To improve your partner’s O-potential and increase shared pleasure, introduce him to a form-fitting couples’ ring. In addition, try physically, instead of metaphorically, pointing your finger, and become his guide, informing him of the three P’s of pleasure—pressure, pace and place.

MYTH: Experiencing multiple orgasms is extremely rare.

While simultaneous orgasms, experiencing orgasm at the same exact time as your partner, are indeed rare, over half of women can experience multiple orgasms—orgasms that consecutively “roll” into one another, each usually more pleasurable than the next. This feat; however, is mostly achieved by women in their 40s to 60s, due to the fact that they tend to be more relaxed during lovemaking.

FACT: You’re more likely to orgasm with a long-term partner.

While you may think that things with a long-term partner tend to grow icier rather than spicier with time, as far as orgasms go—the opposite is true. Women are less self-conscious, more relaxed and overall more comfortable with someone who knows them inside and out. Studies have shown that, raising your sexual self-esteem is a surefire way to help pave a pleasurable path from you to ‘O.’

MYTH: Condoms make it more difficult for women to achieve orgasm.

While condoms might deprive a man of experiencing maximum sexual pleasure, there is no evidence to support that condoms prevent or extend the time it takes for a woman to orgasm. In fact, condoms provide much-needed lubrication, and the fact that some men last significantly longer while wearing condoms could actually give you those precious extra minutes you need to achieve climax.

FACT: Women can have orgasms without any physical stimulation.

An extragenital orgasm is an orgasm brought upon by no physical contact with the body. These orgasms, although rare, could be brought about by fantasizing or abruptly come about by going about normal daily tasks. But be careful what you wish for: select women are constantly inconvenienced by hundreds of unprompted, spontaneous orgasms every day.

FACT: Eating certain foods can boost your orgasm odds.

While we often associate testosterone with men, it’s actually the hormone which controls sexual desire in women. Foods low in carbohydrates and high in protein:  dairy, eggs, poultry and select meat and fish for example, work to raise free testosterone. Among other libido-boosting foods, small amounts of dark chocolate can trigger releases of dopamine—a monoamine neurotransmitter which allows humans to experience sexual pleasure.

MYTH: You’ll always know an orgasm by its sound.

Not everyone gets all When Harry Met Sally when they reach climax. Of course orgasms can be loud, but every orgasm is different, and their intensity cannot be measured in decibels. While the media has led many to falsely believe that they’ll know a “real orgasm” by its sound, anyone who has experienced a true orgasm knows that the experience can hardly be put into words, let alone sounds.

MYTH: No orgasm means bad sex.

It’s wise not to reduce things as natural and beautiful as sex as a means to an end. In fact, if you look back on your most pleasurable sessions of sensuality, they’re most likely ones that involved a considerable amount of toe-curling, tension-building foreplay—a mini, longer-lasting orgasmic experience in itself. Remember: sex, like life, is a journey, not a destination—meant to be enjoyed every step of the way.

www.loveandindulgence.com.au

NEXT ARTICLE: WHEN YOU WANT IT MORE THEN HE DOES

Healthy Meals for More Mojo: Foods that Naturally Increase Libido

For thousands of years, people have searched for edible items to guarantee peak sexual performance and pleasure. Ancient Romans swore by hippo snouts, while even now, tiger penis is thought to be a libido booster in China. 
Luckily for you (and the hippos and the tigers), there are healthier and more palatable edibles that give you longer-lasting results than quick-fix aphrodisiacs. Include some of the following foods to reap the rewards of more romantic romps!

Granola Gets the Juices Flowing: When it comes to sex, blood circulation isn’t just important for men. Between the clitoris and the tissue surrounding the vulva, erectile response is also beneficial for a woman’s sexual experience.

For better blood flow, eat foods like granola, chickpeas, cashews, peanuts, walnuts and root vegetables. They’re all rich in L-Arginine, which improves sexual function by boosting circulation, and thus erectile response.

A Rule of Thumb (and Heart): Whatever is good for your heart is good for your sexual functions. We avoid saturated fats because they clog arteries, and for the reasons stated above, diminished circulation impedes sexual performance and pleasure.

On the other hand, too little fat can lead to less sexual desire. When fat (the good kind) is processed in the liver, the result is more testosterone (for him) and estrogen (for her). Greater quantities of these hormones dictate the level of your sex drive, and can be achieved by ingesting good fats such as monounsaturated and polyunsaturated. Find both of these healthy fats in salmon, nuts and olive oil for when you need a fried food fix!

Soy: a Girl’s Best Friend: Upping your soy intake has a number of beneficial effects to your sexual experiences. Soy binds oestrogen receptors, which not only helps the vagina to stay lubricated, but also diminishes symptoms of menopause like hot flashes – so pass the tofu!

Guys can also benefit from having a soyfriend, as studies have shown that it keeps the prostate healthy. It is, however, important to mention that this is not for everyone; women with any history of breast cancer should not eat large amounts of soy and other estrogen receptor-binding foods.

Use It, Don’t Lose It: So now that your diet is optimized for more O’s, what do you do with this newfound fitness? Share it of course!

Eating the proper food is only half the battle when it comes to maintaining your healthy sensuality, so be sure to make good use of it with someone special by adding some of these intimate items to your chef’s kit; you and your partner (not to mention the hippos and tigers) will be glad you did!

Tiani 2

This remote-controlled wearable vibrator is perfect for intensifying sensations during lovemaking – just wear it and share it!

ALIA

The unique egg-like shape of our external waterproof vibrator turns up the wow factor of shared intimacy, and also makes for an even better bubble bath

Luna Beads and Luna Beads Mini

When it comes to sensual health, it all comes down to Kegels. Luna Beads and the new Luna Beads Mini are body-safe and effective aides for working out this important muscle set.

www.loveandindulgence.com.au