Boost Your Bedroom Confidence

Self-esteem has just as big an impact inside the bedroom as it does outside of it, and just like everyone, we’re all subject to a crisis of confidence every now and then. When you find yourself feeling insecure about getting intimate – as can happen when we’re in a brand-new relationship or just feeling less than our best – remember these tips to get you feeling your finest and friskiest self again;

Honesty: The Best Policy

This isn’t some long, hard look in the mirror we’re suggesting here, but if you’re experiencing a bout of lowered sexual self-esteem, speak up and let your partner know before you’re in the middle of a sensual experience. This helps you avoid being pushed beyond your comfort zone, and will open the avenue of communication between you and your partner to talk through a solution to your sensual setback.

Love Thyself

Know what you want by giving yourself what you want. Especially when you’re with a new partner, there so much to learn about how they take their pleasure that it certainly makes things much easier for both of you if you know what you want and what gets you off.

So that being said, how do you figure out what kind of pleasure you like best? By masturbating, of course! If you’re a total newcomer, the perfect beginner’s sex toy is something unobtrusive and easy-to-use, making it perfect for getting better acquainted with yourself or for being introduced to your shared sensual experience with a partner.

Dare to Bare… or Don’t

Everyone’s got their best bits and the bits they can’t bear to show off, like a touch of cellulite here, a stretch mark there, or too much jiggle in a certain spot you’d rather hide, we say that if it makes you feel better, then by all means turn the lights off.
Not showing absolutely everything can truly help you feel as comfortable as possible, especially in the early days of a sexual relationship. And as anyone in a long-term relationship can tell you, it’s an anxiety you get over quite quickly as you realize that what you see as a ‘flaw’, your partner sees as something that is irresistibly you.

Feel Sexy

Have you got a favorite pair of jeans that makes your butt look like WHOAH? What about a best dress that makes the most of all of your curves? Get yourself all gussied up in the duds you like the best, because feeling sexy yourself is going to make you want to get sexy with someone else.

Push yourself outside of your normal routine and change the scenery; try going on a date someplace completely new and removed from your usual social circles. Doing the same things with the same people all the time gets us stuck in a routine that comes saddled with its own expectations, so break free of that for a change, and go to a place where you and your partner don’t know anyone. Getting away from the usual places and faces you know will allow you both to try out more daring or adventurous aspects of your personalities you otherwise feel that you cannot, and you can dress as differently or provocatively as you want without raising eyebrows or inciting questions or comments about your ‘new look’.

Meet your partner for a drink in the bar of a 4 or 5 star hotel in your town and see where the night leads you both. Hotel bars are perfect for an anonymous ambiance due to their constantly changing clientele, and tend to be a little easier on the eyes than your local bar, making it the perfect venue for getting out of the ordinary and into your element.

www.loveandindulgence.com.au

Raise your Sexual Self-esteem

From time to time, we just don’t feel as sexy as we’d like. Be it work or family stress, a simple lapse in our exercise routine, or just a plain break from romantic reality, we’re just not feeling our sexual selves. When this happens, here are some tried and tested tricks that will have you back to your bedroom best!



Log Off


According to Canadian researchers in a study published in CyberPsychology & Behavior, the more time spent on Facebook, Twitter and other social networking sites actually increased feelings of jealousy one may have towards their partner. The theory goes that the information one is privy to on these sites can turn curiosity into anxiety regarding past partners and perceived threats to a relationship, which leads to jealousy.

So practice caution, and take stock of the situation before you find yourself in a stalking situation.

Look at Really Hot (REAL) Women

In case you needed reminding on this point, the women you’re looking at in magazines and on TV are not the real women that you see around you in your day-to-day, let alone what real men are after! Take a break from mass media to hit the gym and see what us people in the real world look like, and remind yourself that sexy takes many forms, including yours!

Tune In

This bit of advice is still as true as it ever was – putting on some tracks you deem sexy can affect your feelings toward getting romantic. It’s a mood altering substance that can change the way you feel about yourself and everything around you.

What do we suggest? Pick up L-O-V-E: The Essential Al Green, Lover’s Rock by Sade, or the self-titled debut album by The xx – if these don’t get you in an amorous mood, nothing will!

Put the Stopwatch Down

If entertainment is anything to go by, good sex is a calendar-clearing event that lasts hours at a time. If your usual encounters are clocking in at less than ten minutes, don’t assume that your bedroom time trials are lacking – a 2008 survey of North America’s top sex therapists revealed that sex classified as ‘normal and good’ lasts between 3 and 13 minutes!

Wear Something Slinky

Clichés begin from truth, but when if it works, it works; one of the fastest and easiest ways to get your mood from zero to sexy is with some lingerie. It doesn’t have to be tight, it doesn’t have to be lacy or delicate, but if the intended look is a sensual one, it will do the trick.

An enticing yet comfortable choice would be a silk robe, or if you’re after a bit of fantasy fulfillment, then maybe a sexy outfit like a French Maid might be more your speed.

www.loveandindulgence.com.au

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