Why Husbands consider Cheating or up for the concept of a Mistress

Women stop having sex with them. Yes, the wives simply refuse to have sex!

I speak to men online all the time and I can tell the married ones and this is the no#1 complaint. It doest matter what the man does.

He tries to romance his wife, helps around the house, baths her in compliments and still...nothing, nada, a desert!

It's not uncommon that this happens after having children. Its like she's angry for now having exactly what she said she wanted...kids and his the one that pays the price of no sex to reproduce again till she's ready to do it all again. I say this as focus groups have shown that its not uncommon for the sex to go dry for a year till 18months on average!

For many woman they struggle with the new shape of their bodies. They don't think they are desirable or sexy anymore. WRONG! He wants you...he needs you...and most of all having sex is the most intimate act two people can do together. Simple intimacy is all he needs.

Quite frankly its unfair to remove the sex and expect him to stay faithful. 

Show some interest in his job and hobbies ladies.

After many conversations with escorts I have had my eyes completely opened on what happens with the hour that men have paid for. Many women look down at prostitution but ladies you have it all wrong. These woman should be thanked (I can hear you saying WTF right now but hang on a sec) as if it wasn't for them your marriage would actually be over!

Why do I say this, well I'll let you in on a little secret on the breakdown of this paid hour. The first 45 minutes is simply TALKING. Yes talking. He just wants to be heard.

The last 15 minutes is spent 80% of the time getting oral sex only.

In my workshops the biggest shock of the day is not touching a vibrator for the first time, its finding out the meaning of oral sex to men. Most women think its all about power. Wrong again! Don't get me wrong, at times this is the case but a blow job is just as personal for a guy as it is for a woman. It represents being needed and wanted.

Now ladies when you first met you had no issues in showing him this but why do you shy away from providing this form of intimacy in a long term relationship?

(Pssst now don;t forget in the past we have talked about how 85% of women need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. Him going down on you is perfect for this pleasure. If your not putting out how can you expect it in return. Fairs fair ladies).

The white picket fence

So you got the man with the status and career, the house, the baby and the money. Tick tick tick

So you got what you wanted so no need to have sex anymore. WRONG! To keep this you need to keep the one thing that he, as a man needs, INTIMACY which = SEX

So if your wanting to keep the fantasy 'happy home' you have dreamt of, either hold up your end of the bargain or understand when your man temporarily strays is all I can say.

www.loveandindulgence.com.au

Why we Cheat?

By Melina Macdonald

This is a question that people in all honesty ask themselves in the silence of their thoughts not out loud. Why? Because in actual fact the truth hurts.

It doesn’t really matter whether you are asking why other people are doing it or why you just did it; the fact is the truth is the most disturbing part of this dilemma and what actually seems to be becoming a more common occurrence in today’s busy society.

The gender is also irrelevant in this topic as quite simply both parties are doing I it as much as each other. Adult sites have been created just to help people do this very thing…cheat.

Both Victoria Milan and Ashley Madison websites, whose target market is married people looking for affairs, have conducted their own surveys to keep in touch with what their customer base wants and what their common traits are. The most amazing statistic to come out of these is that people are having affairs with people that they find to be less attractive then their spouses. Less! The common belief that we tend to ‘upgrade’ to a younger hotter version is also not entirely true with 30% of men and 50% of women having this as an important factor. However what is common is the same thing I believe to be true, the lovers seem to be better listeners and more passionate.

I have written other articles in the past about this very topic…cheating, and discussed the common occurrence that tends to happen in the brothels. The men spend the first 45 minutes just talking. They simply just want to be heard. The last 15 minutes is oral sex 80% of the time and more commonly these days is that the men want to be the one giving it!

So if passion and listening is the main reasons for people cheating then why can’t this be solved at home?

So I say lets look at the findings and pop a simple plan in place to alleviate the stresses.

1.     Take time to listen. Why not go for walks together and during this time both just listen to other person talk with no interruptions and no judgement. Walking is a great way to get fit and either shed those kilos’s to deal with that aesthetic reason too.

2.     Keep the passion alive. Why not surprise your partner by changing it up once in a while. To do this you need to think about a few factors so go look at yourself in the mirror. How do you hold yourself up? What are you wearing? Ditch the sloppy Joes because trust me, your partners lover is not dressing like this! Put effort into how you look and most importantly care about how you look. Note to both sexes: Buy some sexy underwear.

3.     Make time for sex. For those of you saying out loud right now “but I have kids”…shut up! This has to be the single biggest excuse for basically ‘procrastinating’ from having sex again (you know who you are). Yes things have changed in your home environment but we are not talking about a weekend shagging up session. We are talking about a job that can take minutes to (I’m going to suggest) 30 minutes of your schedule. Make chores a joint effort so kids are in bed by 8pm and off you go! Relationships are about making time, making things a priority and nurturing the one factor that brought the two of you together which was intimacy. It is the single most driving force within a relationship and if you think it isn’t then your perception of relationships is severely warped. People with no money, those that are severely overweight and those that have 10 kids still find time to be intimate (the other common arguments on why people break up or cheat). So if you want to keep your relationship healthy MAKE TIME now.

4.     Try something new. Relationships can get boring and monotonous. Starting a new hobby, changing routine every now and again or even roles within a household can stimulate change. This includes date nights and how you romance your partner. It can be a hit and miss but as long as you’re trying its great.

5.     You need to be more then just good friends. Lust is a driving force in a long-term successful relationship. Please note that when I say ‘successful’ I am not meaning how many years you have been together, I am meaning that you are both ‘in love’ with each other not just ‘love’ each other.

6.     Get out of your comfort zone together occasionally. Ditch the kids and go stay at a hotel. Its doesn’t have to be a dirty weekend. Just the element of doing something different is important enough.

My last piece of advice is Piss Off The Fear!

Fear of rejection is the NO#1 factor of relationship breakdowns. Fear to talk about how you feel, what you want, what you need, what your passions are, what your desires are and especially what your sexual fantasies are. This is why people cheat! The fear of approaching there loved one and being looked at as a freak, dirty, pervert etc. is why they turn elsewhere. So throw away the fear of rejection and stop living a lie as this in itself.

www.lveandindulgence.com.au