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Saturday, 14 February 2015

Controversial Hot Topic is Fifty Shades

Last year I went to a workshop on Masculine and Feminine energy. Up until that day I thought I had dealt with my marriage breakdown and thought I understood what had happened but geeze was I wrong. That day I learned about the energies, how they work and how they affect the dynamics within a relationship. For the first in my life I could clearly see my relationships from the perspective of masculine and feminine energy and boy oh boy was it an eye opener! I could finally understand and see my last entire 11 year relationship layed out in-front of me in a language that simplified what had previously had me scratching my head and blaming something else.
This same speaker went will a group of women to watch the movie Fifty Shades of Grey and after reading her review and perspective I just had to share it with all of you so enjoy the read and trust me, Naomi will leave you a little more enlightened and with a new perspective.

So - we went to see the movie Fifty Shades Of Grey last night.
There were around 150 people in our group, made up of around 70% women and we were all curious to experience one of the most highly anticipated films for some time.
Now given this film is expected to gross $60m in it's opening weekend (well placed with Valentines Day), and the author E.L. James has earned over $95m from the books & the movie rights already with over 100 million copies of the books sold worldwide this is clearly a topic that has aroused the interest of many.
Within our group of friends, there have been polarising opinions - some thought it was interesting entertainment, some thought it was horrendous & sick, some thought it was degrading & wanted to walk out mid way, others thought it was cool and it sparked their curiosity to explore more.
Whatever your opinion on the content and the film - I find it interesting to understand the attraction that has created this level of curiosity, and the hidden story behind the story. What is it that makes a man behave in the way that he does, and what is it that would make a beautiful young woman want to surrender to his desires?
So if we look at this from a Masculine & Feminine perspective - today's women have taken on a lot of masculine energy in order to create success in the workplace, juggle households, children, financial responsibilities etc. Women have learned how to match it with men in the boardroom as an equal and are often earning as much or more money than their partners, as well as taking on the lions share of the household duties. They are used to being in control of making things happen.
Yet on a deeper level, there is a part of the feminine psyche that longs to surrender and not have to be in control. Part of our inner feminine being longs for a man to take control for us and to allow us to relax & receive his strength as our protector & provider. This may be a shadow value for women as it's been masked by our desire to be strong and powerful. What we want in the workplace is different to what we want in our bedroom which is confusing on many levels for both men & women.
Many women subconsciously desire a man who has strength, presence, stakes his claim on her as his woman and lets her know how special she is to him. A recent study by UCLA showed that 64% of women had sexual fantasies about being ravished by their man (ravishment is not rape) - where the woman can let go, knowing someone else is in charge who knows what he is doing, desires her & is determined to bring her pleasure.
Christian Grey is handsome, successful, powerful, arrogant, in control, knows what he wants & sets out to get it.
He acts as her protector, rescuer, provider and he lets her know that she is his woman (and only his). He takes control and claims her, letting her know his strong intention to pleasure her.
This is the ALPHA MALE energy that strong women may be drawn to in their deepest fantasy as they want to feel that they can surrender to the strength of the masculine, and on many levels this is a very beautiful and positive energy for a relationship.
The challenges and twists in this story however are introduced through Christian's narcissistic behaviour where he displays lack of empathy, a strong need to feel important, arrogance, exploitation, cruelty and a sense of entitlement.
Did Christian love Anastasia?
He told he that he was unable to love - he was fifty shades of fucked up from the inner torment and pain he was feeling within from the traumatic experiences he'd had in his past. I think he loved her in the way that he was able to love, but in a different form to what we see as traditional love. When he had challenges in his business and things didn't go well for him he wanted to inflict pain to her and punish her - but at the same time he let her know how special she was to him. INTERESTING behaviour.
This film was part 1 - the first book, and at the end Anastasia chose to walk out on him.
But we are left knowing that this is not how the story ends and that she in inextricably drawn to him and intoxicated with his power over her, so she will be back to try to love the man who believes he is unloveable and unworthy of love despite his material success. Anastasia feels the intense desire to nurture and rescue him to heal his pain, and allow him to feel her love.
Now at the end of the day - this story is not for everyone, and I totally appreciate the polarising perspectives and emotions that have been aroused on this very controversial topic.
I'm curious as to how you feel and what you see as the deeper meaning of the story, the messages for masculine & feminine and why it has sold over 100 million copies of the book worldwide.

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